Return of the Mount Hua Sect Chapter 1444: What Should I Do? (4)

Tang Gunak stared silently at the sky for a long time.

‘Happiness…’

Chung Myung might be right.

Did the founder of the Tang Family, who first put down roots in Sichuan and gathered his family, really wish for his descendants to make a name for themselves throughout the world?

Probably not.

He likely wanted the family living in that strange, remote land, and their descendants after them, to simply be at peace. That was why he built fences and taught them how to protect themselves.

“…So what you’re saying is…”

When Tang Gunak looked at Chung Myung, Chung Myung cleared his throat, casually wiped his face with his sleeve, and shrugged nonchalantly.

“Poisons are of course important. Recognition is important too. And the Tang Family’s reputation is important as well.”

“…That’s true.”

“But those are merely means for those belonging to the Tang Family to live peaceful lives. The more of those things they obtain, the safer Tang Family people will be.”

Tang Gunak nodded. It was certainly true.

“But people are strange. If they become obsessed with the means to achieve a goal, at some point the means become the goal. It’s like…”

“You mean like me now?”

Chung Myung shook his head.

“I’m not only saying this to the Family Lord. At some point the Sichuan Tang Family became like that. It has been that way for a long time.”

If those stars were the eyes of Tang Family people watching Tang Gunak, among them would be the eyes of Tang Bo.

‘He must have been frustrated.’

Tang Bo realized that long ago. Even after seeing the limits of poison, he found those obsessed with it strange and worked tirelessly to break that mold.

But what he faced was an impregnable fortress armored in the name of family law. No matter how loudly he spoke, he alone, not even the Family Lord, could change anything.

That Tang Bo couldn’t settle into the family and wandered the world, and even came to Chung Myung to challenge duels to raise his fame, were his attempts to change what would not change?

‘A walking contradiction.’

He hated the Tang Family, yet never let it go in his whole life, even until his last breath.

Then again, who doesn’t live with contradictions they cannot resolve?

“I’ve heard that those who make poisons for the Tang Family never leave the family’s fence for their whole lives.”

“…That’s right.”

It’s to prevent leaks. If they left and were kidnapped by hostile forces, countless secrets about the Tang Family could be revealed.

“The workshop is the same. Those who learn the Tang Family’s techniques are bound to the Tang Family for life.”

“…”

“As for the daughters, there’s no point even talking — it’s pointless.”

Tang Gunak nodded heavily.

He knew it too: that those who uphold the Tang Family live difficult lives, and that the name Sichuan Tang Family was built on many sacrifices.

“That doesn’t mean that the martial arts learned men of the Tang Family who study martial arts on the back of those sacrifices live such great lives. Look at the Family lord, you know?”

“…What are you saying you know from looking at me?”

“You’re always knitting your brows like that.”

Chung Myung pressed a deep wrinkle into his own brow with his finger. The somewhat ridiculous imitation made Tang Gunak chuckle.

“…Can I help it? I’m the Family Lord.”

“Who decided that?”

“Hm?”

“Who decided that the Tang Family’s Family Lord must shoulder all burdens and somehow make the Tang Family the greatest martial arts force in the murim world? Was that the Family Lord’s original dream?

Tang Gunak fell silent. Normally he would have answered ‘yes’ without hesitation. But he couldn’t bring himself to say it now.

He had only believed it.

From childhood, whose memory he couldn’t recall, he simply assumed he was supposed to be that way.

“The Family Lord is not that kind of person.”

“…Why do you think so?”

“We can tell even from how you treat Soso. The Family Lord just wants Soso to be happy. He wouldn’t be different with the other people.”

Tang Gunak had no words to refute and remained silent. Meanwhile Chung Myung spoke again.

“It’s sad. A system created so everyone could be happy has at some point begun to burden everyone. And at some point that burden became something everyone simply had to endure.”

Tang Gunak spoke in a slightly hardened voice.

“Mount Hua’s Sword Saint. But you can’t know the intentions of the ancestors who founded the Tang Family, can you?”

“I can.”

“…You can?”

“Yes. It’s very easy to know. Especially when it comes to the Tang Family.”

Tang Gunak frowned at Chung Myung’s words. Wasn’t that too bold a claim?

“How can you know? Those people lived hundreds of years ago.”

“But it’s the same. Even if it’s not hundreds but thousands of years, a parent’s heart for their child doesn’t change.”

For a moment Tang Gunak stared blankly at Chung Myung.

“You said a parent…?”

“Yes. You can grandly call them ancestors, but they were still just parents who worried about their children after they died.”

Chung Myung chuckled softly.

“Do you think those fellows truly made family laws worrying about the Family lord hundreds of years in the future?”

“…I doubt it.”

“Right. Then it’s easy. Why did they create those laws? What did they really want?”

Chung Myung’s laugh faded. Fixing his gaze on the sky, he spoke quietly.

“I don’t know well what parental affection is, but I know the heart of a master toward a disciple and the feeling toward a sahyung-sajae system.”

Chung Myung’s gaze slowly moved from the sky to the side. Beyond the dense reeds, unseen, Mount Hua’s people lay sleeping.

“I want them to become stronger.”

“…”

“But I hope not too much. That would be painful. It’s enough if they’re satisfied with themselves, but they’re greedy and overdo it.”

“…Weren’t you the one who made them like that?”

“Yes.”

Chung Myung nodded.

“I wish it would be just the right amount, but I don’t even know where that right amount is. When I think it’s enough, something suddenly pops up: what if stronger ones attack these kids? What if I’m not there then?”

“…I see.”

“Yes? What do you mean?”

“That’s because you’re a coward.”

Chung Myung twisted his face and grumbled.

“I don’t think we’re much different from each other.”

“…I can’t deny that.”

Tang Gunak chuckled. Nothing had been solved, but talking had eased his mind somehow.

“Parent…”

What kind of life do you want your children to live?

What does Tang Gunak the man want, not Tang Gunak the Family Lord?

Then Chung Myung said anew.

“It’s truly difficult. Even parents and children who spend their whole lives together find it hard to fully know each other’s intentions. People cannot fully see into another’s heart.”

“…”

“But you can guess.”

“Because my heart would be that way.”

“Yes. That’s right.”

Tang Gunak nodded. He thought he knew what Chung Myung was going to say.

There’s no need to ponder what the Tang Family ancestors felt. He can become the ancestor of the Tang Family himself.

“Now, having to change our home and settle in a strange place, what I want for my children is…”

Tang Gunak closed his eyes.

Only now did he vaguely understand the ancestors’ hearts, because he was in that position himself.

“What is lost cannot be helped. Regretting and resenting won’t bring it back. Self-blame? If you want to, blame yourself as you please.”

“…”

“But.”

Chung Myung’s gaze went to a distant place.

“There are things you only understand once you’ve lost them. So there are things you can gain precisely because you lost something.”

Tang Gunak quietly clenched his hand.

“I’m certain. Whatever form it takes… those who have lost what shouldn’t have been lost will become stronger.”

Tang Gunak silently nodded in agreement.

If Tang Gunak had heard Chung Myung say this just a few days earlier, before things came to this, he probably wouldn’t have sympathized. He would have spent his life making what was already firm even firmer, even if it strained everyone he cared for.

Tang Gunak stared intently at Chung Myung.

“Mount Hua’s Sword Saint. So you gathered those people for that reason?”

“…Yes?”

“You’re talking about the Heavenly Friends Alliance.”

How coincidental.

Most of those in the Heavenly Friends Alliance are people who have lost something great, or who once lost something. Now that even the Tang Family has come to this, that fact stands out more clearly.

“…No. I didn’t gather them on purpose. They just turned out to be the ones who came.”

“…”

“It just happened. One by one, before I knew it there were quite a few.”

“That’s how it was…”

“Those folks needed someone, too. We were there at the right time, and those who hadn’t suffered wouldn’t need to seek someone. By chance, only those kinds of people met one another.”

Chung Myung chuckled.

“And the somewhat lacking ones tend to stick together well.”

Just like him and Tang Bo. Those who share similar pain inevitably find each other.

“So there’s no special or grand reason. It’s just… we couldn’t leave them alone.”

Bitterness touched Chung Myung’s mouth. He simply understood too painfully well the feelings of those who had lost something, so he couldn’t bring himself to refuse.

“So even if I went back in time it would be the same. I’d regret it, lament that it was all loss, wonder why I had to bleed and fight over it, and yet…”

Chung Myung closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, his gaze was clear.

“Still, I’ll go again. While everyone curses me for doing something stupid.”

Tang Gunak couldn’t help but let out a deep sigh.

“…That’s not something to call stupid.”

“Tsk.”

But Chung Myung didn’t hear the rest; he suddenly leapt to his feet. Tang Gunak looked up in surprise.

“Hm?”

“I’ll go.”

“…Suddenly?”

“The Family Lord probably needs some time alone too.”

Chung Myung grinned and turned, then abruptly stepped closer to Tang Gunak.

“Huh?”

Thunk!

He reached out, lightly tapped Tang Gunak’s shoulder, and pressed down a little as if to steady him.

“…What?”

“There.”

Having done an inscrutable thing, Chung Myung turned and walked away. Tang Gunak watched his retreating back and spoke.

“Hey, Mount Hua’s Sword Saint.”

“Yes?”

Chung Myung merely turned his head to look back at Tang Gunak.

“…Thank you.”

Then Chung Myung, who had been silently watching Tang Gunak, pointed upward with his finger.

“Gratitude belongs upward.”

It was a baffling remark. As Chung Myung’s figure receded, Tang Gunak looked up at the sky again. Despite its blackness, countless stars still shone.

Until a moment ago those lights had felt like eyes watching and reproaching him, but now they didn’t feel so cold.

He smoothed the hidden short sword in his sleeve. Suddenly an incredulous snort escaped his lips.

“In the end… he didn’t say a single word about what I should do.”

He shook his head and closed his eyes tightly.

He knew. It’s not for others to decide. It’s a path he must choose. His fight alone.

However, a small thing accompanied him in that solitary fight.

The small warmth Chung Myung left behind when he pressed Tang Gunak’s shoulder, a warmth as if passed along from somewhere, had seeped into Tang Gunak’s shoulder.