As Aizen in Naruto and Joined a Chat Group Chapter 595: The Honey Trap?

(Wishing all you little ones a happy holiday!)

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Pfft! Sis Mochou, your slow-on-the-uptake act is just too adorable!

Curly-haired Guy: This world is finished. The demoness who once killed without blinking has now taken the shape of a dazed, fluffy little girl.

Sakata Gintoki heaved a deep sigh, casting a melancholy gaze out the window with practiced gloom.

“Gin-chan, what’s wrong?” Kagura, standing beside him, asked, puzzled.

“Ah, just feeling a touch sentimental, is all.” Sakata Gintoki shook his head with melancholy eyes. “Humanity, truly, is a remarkably changeable species.”

“Changeable or not, you’re still cleaning today.” Kagura rolled her Byakugan. “You’re not thinking of dodging your responsibilities this way, are you?”

“Dammit!”

Sakata Gintoki’s defenses crumbled instantly, and he clutched his head in both hands. “I’m the OWNER of this yorozuya, why do I still have to do that kind of thing?! Why can’t I reap without sowing like a normal capitalist?!”

“A capitalist, hah.” Not far away, Shimura Shinpachi looked up from his manga with a sneer. “A capitalist at least pays his employees basic wages while he exploits them. And you? Real capitalists would weep at the sight of you, you bastard!”

Amegakure Village’s Angel: Mochou has always been a dazed, fluffy girl. The demoness was the disguise.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Can we get back on topic, please?

Li Mochou’s mouth twitched furiously, black lines crowding her forehead. She clearly had no desire to discuss the topic, and she didn’t consider herself any “dazed, fluffy girl.”

If anything, she’d say she was a penitent now, atoner for the wrongs she had once committed.

Wig Guy: Little sister Mochou, I think this is simple. Just cut the problem off at its source!

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: ? Who are you calling “little sister,” hm?

Doujin Artist: Sis Mochou is older than you, surely. Show some respect!

This is an Actor: For Wig, “little sister” has nothing to do with age, it’s about status, isn’t that right?

Soul Society’s Villain: Status? Ah, Li Qingluo, I see.

Lazy Kitten: Truly worthy of you, Wig! You haven’t even met Li Qingluo, and you’re already calling her little sister. The depths of that shamelessness are simply fathomless.

Wig Guy: Perfectly ordinary. (emoji: blush)

Lazy Kitten: Damn it, I was NOT complimenting you! What the hell are you blushing for?!

Shark-Faced Guy: So what does “cutting it off at the source” mean here?

Wig Guy: Why, simply killing that Duan Zhengchun, of course. He is the root of all evil.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: ?

Doujin Artist: ?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Duan Zhengchun? Shouldn’t it be Murong Fu? What does Duan Zhengchun have to do with anything?

Doujin Artist: Wig, what you’re really trying to “cut off at the source” is your own problem, isn’t it? Once Duan Zhengchun’s gone, you figure you’ll have a clear path to Li Qingluo?

Curly-haired Guy: I see, I see. So the married-women-lover passive skill has activated?

Pretty Boy from Skull Island: Isn’t that just preying on a woman in distress?

Wig Guy: Don’t misunderstand. I simply wish to give her a warm home.

Doujin Artist: Damn it, can you possibly be any more shameless?

Machete Girl: Still, Wig’s line of thinking is worth considering. Just kill that Murong Fu directly, and everything’s solved! No crush to have, no puppy love to be had!

Lin Fengjiao: Agreed. That Murong Fu was never a good man to begin with. For the sake of restoring his so-called Great Yan, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do.

This is an Actor: Not bad, this approach really would solve the problem at its root. But it’s crude and artless. Utterly boring.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: That is precisely my own view. Had I wished to use such methods, I would never have asked any of you.

Li Mochou rolled her Byakugan.

If she wanted Murong Fu dead, a single Shunpo blink would take her straight to Swallow Dwelling. All told, the job wouldn’t take even ten seconds. Simple and convenient.

But to Li Mochou, killing Murong Fu outright like that was genuinely dull. Not only boring, it let him off far too easy.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Ah, this. Well, if we can’t just kill him, it’ll take some deliberation. Your little niece’s feelings for Murong Fu run truly deep, breaking that bond won’t be easy.

Amegakure Village’s Angel: I’d say it isn’t deep love at all, merely the fondness that grows from long companionship. It isn’t love, only fondness. The two are entirely different things.

Doujin Artist: Well said, Love Coach Konan-jie.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Good grief, that “Love Coach” title came out of nowhere!

Machete Girl: Question from the uninformed! Konan-jie is on her very first romance, where does this “Love Coach” title come from?

Soul Society’s Villain: Because she reads romance manuals whenever she’s bored.

Lazy Kitten: Konan-jie, how very studious of you.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: And you’re all drifting off-topic again.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Ah, right! Priority one is solving Sis Mochou’s problem! How do we get that silly-sweet Wang Yuyan to leave Murong Fu of her own accord?

Foul-Mouthed Mask Guy: I have a proposal! Why not send in a superior man to divert her gaze? This man would need to be sufficiently handsome, stron, ahem, dashing. Someone like Uncle, for instance.

Doujin Artist: You can roll right out the door. Next!

Lazy Kitten: For something like this, I think it should be Anzen-onii-san. With Anzen-onii-san’s credentials standing before Wang Yuyan, how could the plan possibly fail?

Machete Girl: Don’t stir the pot, Luolu-chan! Do you want Konan-jie to hang you up and beat you?

Lazy Kitten: But besides Anzen-onii-san, who else in the group even meets the criteria?

Machete Girl: Mm. Fair point, actually.

Curly-haired Guy: ? Damn it, I can’t pretend I didn’t hear that! The president is indeed wise and handsome, but is Gin-san really so far behind? Hmm?!

Foul-Mouthed Mask Guy: Fuck, how little do you all think of Uncle Deadpool?! With my years of battlefield experience in the war of love, how could I possibly fail to handle one little girl?

Doujin Artist: If you two showed up, you’d scare the poor girl to death. Have a little self-awareness, please. People should at least possess a shred of it.

Machete Girl: So in the end, it has to be Anzen-san after all?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: It seems there’s no other way.

This is an Actor: ? What do you take me for, a man-slayer or an incubus? One glance from my eyes and all creation falls under my spell?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Hahahahaha, dying!

Doujin Artist: Incubus, confirmed!

Lazy Kitten: Ahem, well, it IS an expedient measure. A honey trap, I’d say it’s workable!

This is an Actor: Workable, my foot. Just show Wang Yuyan Murong Fu’s true face and be done with it. Does this really need debating?