Turning Chapter 1336

It was far too serious an atmosphere to tell them not to joke...

Glowe turned her gaze aside, coughing to hide her embarrassment. And Elpokin still looked at Fay with pity.

Goosebumps crawled over Fay’s skin as the dream he’d half considered an illusion rapidly reassembled itself in his head.

The black-haired angel who’d shouted, asking if he could recognize them. That had been Glowe.

The angel with wings and horns guarding Fay’s surroundings had been Elpokin.

The angel’s arms that held Fay lightly yet firmly had been Hin Elder’s, and the one who took his hand with an identical face had been Pin Elder, who’d approached to use a movement ability.

The “angels” who each said a word he couldn’t understand were actually other seniors of the Cavalry who had come at the Commander’s summons, and the place he’d thought was heaven had been a bed in the Cavalry medical ward.

Hearing Elpokin’s words even brought back, faintly, the angelic face that had given him warm comfort whenever he woke after sleeping in heaven. That had been Priest Lusan in priest’s robes.

Remembering that he had quavered to that angel, asking things like, “If this is heaven, when can I meet my mother?” made him want to faint on the spot again.

'Ah... Good lord!'

How funny and ridiculous must he have seemed to everyone. It might have been better not to recall it properly to the end. Bearing this shock and shame, how was he supposed to face the other Cavalry members from now on?

Of course, the Cavalry were full of kind people, so they might well say outwardly that it was fine. But memories like that weren’t something one could simply forget because one decided to.

He’d thought memories of standing out in a bad way were already plenty from his hometown alone. He’d tried so hard not to be like that in the Cavalry, and in a single moment it had all gone to ruin. Even tearing at his hair and burying his head too late couldn’t undo what had already happened.

'I... I want to die. This is so humiliating.'

With a heart that was the complete opposite of the sinner’s heart that had just had him thinking he should leave the Cavalry, Fay thought once more about withdrawing.

“Do you remember a little now?”

“......”

When Fay only buried his head on his knees in silence at Elpokin’s question, Glowe offered comfort.

“It’s ?? (Original source) okay, Fay. They said, considering you took a blow to the head, ending up like this is on the mild side. Besides, even in the middle of it you recognized the Commander’s face properly and showed the good sense to say nothing to Senior Yuder!”

“......”

“Right. Even while not in your right mind, you never forgot or failed to recognize just the Commander and Senior Yuder’s faces. Maybe you’re actually the one among us with the most Cavalryman aptitude. Honestly, I thought it was kind of impressive...”

Elpokin added words that might have been comfort—or not. His voice made it clear he meant it seriously, not as a joke.

“It might be a little embarrassing... but the other recruits don’t know, so it’ll be fine. I—I’ll forget it all! Elpokin, you’ll forget it too, right?”

“Hm? Do I have to go that far? Actually, it felt kind of nice—no one’s ever called me an angel before...”

“With wings that big, that was the first time? Really?”

“That’s because you two see me like an ordinary person... Most people call me a monster.”

Elpokin answered matter-of-factly.

But just because he said it so flatly—could one say there weren’t any stains of hurt within?

There was no one who didn’t know how Elpokin had been rescued and become Cavalry. It was a famous incident, and Elpokin himself, rather than hide that past as something shameful, had seized every chance to speak loudly with gratitude and pride about the heroes who saved him.

Because he said every day how satisfied and happy he was with his current life, the recruits sometimes mistook him for someone who had overcome all his dark past.

'But... he hadn’t.'

For the first time, Fay realized that fact with startling clarity. Even inside strong Elpokin—who took first place every training session unlike Fay—many wounds still remained. As he mulled over that, oddly fascinated, Glowe, who had been silent, opened her mouth.

“...Honestly, I’ve heard ‘scary,’ ‘gross,’ and ‘monster-like’ a lot too. This was my first time hearing ‘angel,’ like you.”

“You don’t even have a big change in your appearance like I do, so why?”

Elpokin asked as if he truly couldn’t understand. With his head buried on his knees, Fay agreed with that question.

'Glowe is such a kind and warm person...'

When just the new recruits had come to the capital and begun training, Glowe had been the very first to speak to Fay, who couldn’t even introduce himself properly and shrank back. She never once found his oft-called “frustrating” words bothersome and listened properly; she was also the first person who said she wanted to go together when going somewhere.

She was so kind that she was naturally popular among the recruits. How could someone like Glowe have been called a monster?

“A gloomy woman with funeral-black hair who tells fortunes—people usually think that’s an ill omen. After I pushed away a clown who tried to hit me, he fell backward and, unlucky as it was, cracked his head and died, and a rumor went around that anyone who approached me would be cursed. Even the other traveling troupe members avoided me.”

“......”

“In that situation, I awakened. How do you think that looked? I heard I’d become a real monster and that soon I’d kill everyone I held a grudge against. I ran away and applied to take the Cavalry exam. Otherwise, I would have died.”

Glowe’s personal story spilled out—one she hadn’t told any other recruit. She seemed to be trying her best to speak as forthrightly as Elpokin had, but her voice trembled a little despite herself.

“There are tons more truly embarrassing stories. I haven’t exactly lived a clean life, and I don’t have a single outstanding point. So if you’re a monster, then I’m a monster too.”

This time Elpokin fell silent. Fay couldn’t help lifting his head. And he spoke straight to the two of them.

“No. You both saved me. You’re completely different from someone like me with a useless ability. S—so to me, you really are angels...!”

“......”

“......”

In that moment, Fay met the gazes of the two, wearing strange smiles. What’s with those expressions? As he thought that, Elpokin’s gentle eyes crinkled and he grinned.

“You heard him. Then I’ll just remember it well.”

“Mm... I really was going to forget, but... well, can’t be helped...”

“...Huh? Wh—”

He realized a little late that Glowe and Elpokin had deliberately steered the conversation this way to take away his shame and despair.

Glowe smiled at him when he couldn’t find words to continue.

“Now would you tell us your story too, Fay? We want to hear it.”

“Yeah. You’re not going to just wipe your mouth after hearing only mine and Glowe’s, right? You keep saying your ability is useless—why do you keep saying something so bad? Didn’t you say it was an ability to make a double? That’s not something you couldn’t use on a scum like Matten.”

How strange.

Matten had sworn that if the Cavalry learned about Fay, he would be expelled immediately. Fay had believed that without question.

But looking at the faces of the recruits before him, he felt the opposite. With them, it seemed he could speak about himself. Secrets he’d believed he must never tell anyone surged like waves in his heart.

Fay gripped the blanket tight and steadied his breathing. Then, mustering his courage, he haltingly opened his mouth.

“...I—I’m... actually from a village made by Southern people who ran away.”

“Ah. That so?”

“I’ve met a lot of people with Southern blood, so I’m good at recognizing it—but I didn’t notice at all with you.”

Their reactions were much calmer than he’d expected. Fay felt a long-held fear subside just a little as his shaking lips moved.

“Th—that’s... because the village was formed a few hundred years ago... So now there’s almost no difference from Imperial people... They say my father who passed away was Imperial, and my hair color and all... I don’t have any Southern-type traits... The kids my age in the village really... hated me.”

Most had at least a trace of Southern features, but Fay truly had no difference from Imperial folk. The adults only found it curious—but to the children, it was a huge difference.

So Fay had no friends his age. He had only his sickly mother.

The village had a very strong sense of community, and they kept offering steady help even to a patient’s household that couldn’t be of use. Without the village elders, how could his mother have lived so long?

But his mother could not live to see Fay become an adult, and she finally breathed her last. And right after the funeral, Fay awakened.

It happened while he was stroking a vial that held strands of his deceased mother’s hair, weeping. Looking at his face reflected in the mirror, he recalled an old legend passed down in the village.

The empty pit beside the village had once been the healing spring where a fairy dwelled, and if you reflected a patient in its mirror-clear waters and offered a sacrifice, even the dead would be brought back to life.

How many nights had he circled that place, dreaming of a miracle? But not a single drop of water rose into the dried-up spring.

So there would be no miracle after all.

It was in that moment of thinking so.

A scale appeared before Fay.

Strangely, he felt like he knew what he was supposed to place on that scale. Vacantly, he opened the vial and drew out his mother’s hair.

And then...

“I... with my ability... called forth a double of my dead mother. Only for a very short time...”

That had been the very first moment Fay used his ability.