Turning Chapter 1025
“So... would you please tell me what you’re thinking? Whatever it is, I’d like to know.”
The desire to know someone else—let alone to express that desire out loud—was unfamiliar to Yuder.
‘If it were me in my previous life... I’d never have said something like that first. Either out of pride, or because I didn’t want to hear the answer. I probably wouldn’t have even thought of it in the first place.’
But now that he’d actually said the words “I want to know what you’re thinking,” it was almost absurd how easy and simple it had felt.
And that, perhaps, was only possible because of the man in front of him—who had so persistently, time and again, told Yuder, “I want to know what you’re thinking.”
In responding to that, in sharing thoughts that couldn’t be fully understood even through their “connection,” Yuder had come to realize: wanting to understand someone wasn’t shameful. Wanting to hear their answer wasn’t something to be afraid of.
Even after returning from a completed life, Kishiar la Orr continued to lead Yuder Aile to places he had never reached on his own.
That was something only he could do.
Just as Kishiar had done for him, Yuder waited with quiet resolve—not impatient, not anxious. He watched their clasped hands, counted the heartbeats he felt through their joined bodies and overlapping clothes.
Compared to the two long days they’d waited for the countless waves that threatened to destroy the South, this moment was nothing.
And yet, it felt even longer than those days.
Yuder wondered—was this how Kishiar had felt when he was the one asking, “What are you thinking?”
And finally, the voice he’d been waiting for spoke.
“You said you couldn’t understand how the founding Emperor left such a calm final testament while awaiting death... and I found myself wondering, maybe you could understand.”
“......”
“The you I know is someone who would willingly enter a rift in search of someone who doesn’t even truly exist. Someone who could walk alone into the depths of the sea or stand before a colossal monster without hesitation, while others wouldn’t even dare approach.”
That voice was calm, soft, as if reciting obvious truths.
“You never feared for your life in any of those dangers. You simply did what you could—expecting nothing in return—and focused only on accomplishing your goal. You’re more heroic than anyone I’ve ever known.”
Hearing those words from this man—who knew exactly what kind of path Yuder had walked in his past life—almost made Yuder want to object out of reflex. And he would have, had Kishiar not continued right then.
“And at times... you’re also someone who feels like ashes after a fire. So light that a small breeze could carry you away.”
...Me?
It was such a foreign and unexpected metaphor that it brought Yuder’s thoughts to a halt.
Sensing his reaction, the man let out a faint breath that sounded almost like laughter.
“When I didn’t know you well, I just found it strange and intriguing. I thought, ‘That’s not how someone your age should act.’ But as I saw you change... as I heard you say you’d walk this path with me no matter where it led, I felt relief and happiness.”
And now—
His softly murmured voice trailed off.
“...Now I feel disgusted with myself for understanding so clearly the mindset in which Oblik van Ta-in must have written those lines.”
“......”
“Do you remember? The code we found beneath the prison in Tainu—the hidden space?”
Yuder recalled the prison in Tainu, where he’d once been briefly trapped. There, they had discovered a hidden chamber used for trafficking kidnapped Awakeners. That secret space, sealed only by the blood of the Ta-in family, had turned out to be the ancient research room of the first Duke of Ta-in.
Etched into the wall had been a cryptic code. Baron Coelt, recognizing the symbols as strategic patterns from tactical games, had deciphered the ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ message.
“...‘Return the king completely.’”
The moment those words passed Yuder’s lips, the man nodded.
“Right.”
Back then, they hadn’t known what that “king” referred to. But now, after reading the hidden final page of the journal, they understood.
He had begun his research with the desire to see the founding Emperor once more. The king he wished to bring back was his father—his revered father who had passed too soon.
For that one wish, he had pursued a path that others could never understand. Even the password he left behind in his hidden research room reflected it.
Oblik van Ta-in.
His determination and dedication had not been ordinary, even by today’s standards.
Yuder recalled Fruelle—descendant of House Ta-in—once saying that their family seemed to carry a peculiar obsession, a tendency to cling too deeply to the things they loved.
Now, Yuder understood exactly where that blood had come from.
“He was... someone searching for a way to bring ashes back before the fire. He must have known it wouldn’t bring a perfect result, but he loved those ashes too much to let them go.”
Not a desire that would bring only righteous outcomes.
For some reason, that phrase lingered in Yuder’s ears.
As he reflected on its meaning, Kishiar exhaled sharply and continued.
“To be honest... I don’t think there’s anyone who’s thought more about death than I have. It’s been beside me since before I even knew what it meant. I thought I was used to it. So used to it, it no longer scared me. And yet...”
“......”
Then silence.
He didn’t finish the thought.
Instead, the long fingers beneath Yuder’s hand moved. Slowly turning over to reveal the palm, those fingers interlocked with Yuder’s and pulled gently, guiding their joined hands toward Kishiar’s lips.
His lips touched the black leather that encased Yuder’s fingers. There was no warmth to that contact—no heat—but Kishiar held it there, tightly, dearly, as if it were everything.
Only once the leather had slowly begun to absorb his body heat—just enough to feel faintly warm—did he finally lift his head from Yuder’s shoulder.
Each small movement of his lips caused a faint tremor against Yuder’s hand.
“...Yes. I don’t want to let you fly away.”
“......”
“Just imagining that possibility is enough to bring back every fear I thought I’d buried.”
What words could ever match the weight of that?
Yuder couldn’t answer.
“......”
“I know I should be the one to say, no matter where your path leads, I’ll walk it with you to the end. I know I should be able to say that with absolute certainty. But here I am, like this... how pathetic.”
“It’s not pathetic.”
It was the first emotional reply Yuder had let slip—and Kishiar smiled, his eyes curving.
“All this confusion, pain, foolishness... I want to keep it all locked away inside forever. Never let any of it out. But just because you said you wanted to know, every door opened without a fight.”
His red eyes, no longer dark and sunken as before, had returned to their original gem-like brilliance. Through that light, Yuder could see it—what Kishiar had hidden earlier, that fragile thread of connection now restored like a golden strand reaching toward him.
Kishiar extended his thread to Yuder.
“But I don’t hate any of this. You said that to be fair, I should break down all your walls and take everything inside. So it’s only fair that you do the same to me.”
Even this pain. And everything else.
“......”
The bond wrapped around Yuder completely.
And Yuder did not resist the golden threads that encircled him.