My Scumbag System Chapter 447: The Matriarch at the Gates

After leaving her purring contentedly on my bed, I descended the stairs once more.

The common room looked entirely different.

The guys had cleaned up most of the glaring mess spots. Furniture now sat properly arranged. The floor showed through clearly again.

Emi hovered by the oven in the kitchen, sporting an apron stitched with "Kiss the Cook" boldly across it. Celeste labored next to her, stirring a bowl's contents with flawless skill. Akari propped herself on the counter, overseeing operations while scooping cookie dough raw from the bowl using her finger.

Natalia perched at the table, feigning study but really eyeing the trio like a hawk eyeing scampering field mice.

Skylar had vanished somewhere, likely into her room.

"They’ll arrive in ninety minutes." I snatched another energy drink. "Is everyone okay?"

"Define okay." Celeste kept her focus on the whisking. "If you mean ready for a motherly review that decides our place in your personal pecking order, then no."

"It’s not a review."

"Everything’s a review." Batter flowed from her into the pan with precise, surgeon-like control. "Particularly when facing a partner’s parents."

"We’re not—" I halted. "You know what, forget it."

"Wise choice." Akari cleaned dough from her finger with a lick. "Arguing that now would be hilarious. For us. Not so much for you."

Natalia’s textbook slammed closed.

"Akari. Quit eating the dough. Emi requires it for real cookies."

"There’s loads left."

"That misses the point."

"So what is the point?"

"Self-control." Natalia rose and approached. "Discipline. Refraining from grabbing what doesn’t belong to you."

Her underlying message could’ve felled someone frailer.

Akari’s grin turned razor-edged. "All’s fair until someone yells halt."

"I’m yelling halt."

"You don’t run things."

"Nor do you."

I inserted myself between them prior to ice clashing with flame.

"You two. Kitchen. Opposite sides."

"I’m no kid." Natalia’s eyes gleamed white at their borders.

"Then quit behaving like one."

The remark emerged sharper than planned.

Natalia’s face changed. Pain darted over her features before her composure crashed back into place.

"Fine." She brushed past without a glance. "I’ll hole up in my room. Summon me when your mother gets here."

She departed.

The kitchen grew chillier.

Emi grazed my arm. "She’s anxious. We all feel it."

"Why though?" I regarded her, truly puzzled. "It’s merely lunch."

"Far beyond mere lunch." Celeste placed her whisk aside. "Your mother encountering the ladies in your world. In your bed. At your table." She hesitated. "In your kitchen come morning after a night in your quarters."

"She’s unaware of that bit."

"Mothers sense it all." Emi spoke with total conviction. "They possess radar. Pierce walls with their sight. Detect deceit by scent."

"You’re overthinking it."

"She’s grounded in reality," Akari noted. "Your mom enters and instantly spots the shift. Questions follow. Someone buckles and spills it all."

"No confessions from anyone."

"I bet Emi lasts five minutes." Akari eyed the blue-haired one. "No insult meant. You’re kind. But lying’s not your strength."

"I can fib!" Emi’s outrage proved endearing. "I excel at fibbing!"

"Favorite color?"

"Blue! Hold on, I mean—" She paused. "Alright, truth. I stink at lying."

"We’re sunk." Celeste attacked the whisking with fierce vigor.

The front door swung open.

All movement halted.

But only Braxton entered, hauling groceries and appearing utterly wrecked.

"Grabbed backup supplies." He dumped bags onto the counter. "Feeding Luka demands portions for three regular folks. Maybe four."

"He devours that quantity?"

"He’s a B-Rank tank who lifts cars recreationally. Yeah. He does."

Braxton unpacked: steaks, potatoes, veggies, bread. Provisions for a mini-army.

"Appreciate it." Sincerely.

"Save thanks for Carmen’s card." He revealed a pricey wine bottle. "Aimed at your mom. Ladies like her value quality."

"What makes you expert on what her type values?"

His face went neutral on purpose. "Life lessons."

He exited before deeper probing.

Chaos in the kitchen organized itself anew.

Emi and Celeste baked in perfect tandem. Akari laid the table with unexpected precision. Hikari fussed over flowers in a vase in the dining area, humming softly.

I glanced at my phone.

3:47 PM.

My ribs continued to throb with pain. Faint burn scars lingered on my arms, refusing to fade completely despite the regenerator's efforts. Four hours last night had been spent demonstrating to five women the undeniable reality and strength of cosmic soul bonds. Now, persuading my mother that all was perfectly normal lay ahead.

Sure.

Easy.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

The System chimed.

A fresh notification popped up, glowing in pink and gold, completely unwanted.

[NEW QUEST AVAILABLE: MOTHER KNOWS BEST]

[Sponsor: Hera, Queen of Gods]

I dismissed it without a glance.

Hera could pursue her desires elsewhere.

Divine meddling already overflowed in my life.

A crash echoed from upstairs.

Then Maki’s voice rang out, muffled yet distinct: "I’m okay! Everything’s fine! The lamp was ugly anyway!"

Various looks of bewilderment crossed the faces of the five women as they turned to me.

"What was that?" Emi asked.

"Nothing." I moved toward the stairs. "I’ll handle it."

"Satori." Natalia’s voice halted me. "What aren’t you telling us?"

I spun around.

She stood clad in casual attire, hair still wet, purple eyes piercing through any excuse I might offer.

The other four stared with matching intensity.

Five pairs of eyes.

Five Rank 10 Covenants.

Five women who had chosen me, fully aware of the monster I truly was.

"I got a new familiar from the gacha last night." Truth came easier than deception. "She’s...enthusiastic."

"She?" All five voices chorused together.

"It’s a cat."

"Liar." Skylar’s input.

"Technically she’s a catgirl."

Silence.

Akari burst into laughter. "You pulled a catgirl. From a gacha. While we were sleeping."

"She’s Platinum-tier."

"Is she hot?" Natalia’s tone could freeze oceans.

"She’s...very naked."

"Fantastic." Natalia snatched her phone. "I’m calling this off. We’re telling your mother you have food poisoning."

"Too late." Marco materialized in the doorway. "They just pulled up."

Through the window, a familiar figure approached the house.

Luka stepped out, appearing just as usual. Massive. Amicable. Draped in a Hawaiian shirt that ought to be banned.

Kimiko stepped forth in a plain dress, her red hair gleaming in the afternoon sun.

Her gaze locked straight onto the window where I stood.

Our eyes connected.

And she smiled.

It was the smile of one who knew all and had arrived to verify it regardless.

I was so fucked.