I Have 10,000 SSS Rank Villains In My System Space Chapter 486: Unexpected Action?

"So yes..." Razeal finally spoke after a long silence. His voice had become strangely calm now. Not because he was no longer angry. Not because he had forgiven anything. It was the calmness that came after something finally broke. The calmness of someone who had stopped expecting anything. Slowly, he took a step forward. Then another. Until he stood only an arm’s length away from Merisa. Face to face. Looking directly into her eyes. His expression was cold. Almost emotionless.

Yet for the first time since this conversation began, something beneath that coldness could actually be seen. His crimson eyes no longer looked empty. The wall he always hid behind had cracked. Deep within those blood-red pupils, there was pain. Old pain. Years of pain. There was disappointment. Loneliness. Hurt. A faint mist could almost be seen gathering within his eyes, yet not a single tear fell. Not one. As if he had promised himself long ago that no matter what happened, no matter how much it hurt, he would never cry in front of them. Or perhaps he simply believed they no longer deserved those tears.

"So yes..." he repeated quietly. "That was the moment I decided." His eyes never left hers.

"That I would never forgive you." The words landed heavily between them.

"Because the people I had decided to forgive..." His jaw tightened slightly. "Were people I thought loved me." His voice remained steady, but every word carried years of weight behind it.

"People I thought made a mistake. People I thought hurt me because they were wrong, not because they didn’t care." His gaze sharpened.

"People I thought would still give me warmth when I returned." A bitter smile appeared on his lips.

"Because they were my family." Then the smile disappeared. Completely. "But you..." His voice lowered. "You do not love me."

The moment those words left his mouth, Merisa felt as if something inside her shattered. Of all the accusations he had thrown at her today, of all the anger, hatred and disappointment, nothing hurt like this. Nothing. Not because he was insulting her. Not because he was rejecting her. Because he genuinely believed it. He wasn’t saying those words to hurt her. He was saying them because they were the conclusion he had reached.

The conclusion her actions had taught him. And that was infinitely more painful. Her wet eyes trembled. Her body remained perfectly still. Yet inside, her heart felt as though it was being ripped apart piece by piece.

A son telling his mother that she didn’t love him. There were few things crueler than that. Few things more painful. And the worst part? She couldn’t even immediately deny it. Not because she didn’t love him. She loved him more than her own life. But because when she looked back at everything he was saying... when she looked at her actions through his eyes... she suddenly understood why he believed it. Every defense she wanted to make felt pathetic. Every explanation sounded weak. Every justification sounded hollow.

Because standing in front of her was a son who genuinely felt unloved by her. A son who had suffered so much that this was the conclusion he reached. As she stared into his eyes, she finally saw it. Not the coldness. Not the hatred. Not the indifference he always showed everyone. She saw pain. Real pain. Pain he had hidden for years beneath sarcasm, anger and cold expressions. Pain so deep that it had become part of him. And for one horrifying moment, a thought appeared in her mind. A thought so ugly and painful that it almost made her stop breathing.

Maybe I should just kill myself.

The thought came and went instantly.

Not because she wanted death.

Because looking at the pain in his eyes hurt that much.

Because realizing that her son had suffered this much believing she didn’t love him felt unbearable.

Because for the first time she truly understood what she had done.

"You are not my family." Razeal continued before she could speak. His voice remained calm.

"A family that truly loved and cared for each other would never have acted the way you all did when I came back." He slowly shook his head.

"Just sharing blood doesn’t make someone family." His gaze remained fixed on her.

"Love does." His voice became quieter.

"Care does." Another pause.

"Attachment does." He laughed once. A bitter laugh. "Even adopted children who share no blood with their parents feel more loved than I did." His eyes lowered briefly.

"Hell... Even dogs get loved if they stay beside someone long enough." The words hit Merisa harder than anything before.

"Even animals become family when you feed them. Stay beside them. Spend enough time together..." He looked back at her. "And people love them." The disappointment in his eyes deepened.

"Yet somehow..." He laughed again. "We were supposedly a family." His gaze moved between her and the memory of Nova in his mind. "A mother. A sister. Years together. A bond thicker than blood." His jaw tightened. "And when I came back..." His voice dropped.

"Neither of you could even make me feel wanted." The words hurt more because they weren’t shouted. They were spoken quietly. Honestly.

"Still unable to care." He shook his head. Then suddenly stopped himself.

"Sigh..." He looked away.

"What the hell am I even doing?" Disgust appeared on his face. Not toward them. Toward himself.

"Listen to me." He spat on the ground. "I sound like I’m begging." The disgust deepened. "Begging for affection." Another laugh escaped him. "Pathetic."

Merisa remained completely silent. Her eyes became even wetter. The pain inside them almost visible. Because what kind of life had her son lived to use dogs as an example? What kind of loneliness had he endured to compare himself to animals just to explain how unloved he felt? The thought alone nearly crushed her. Every word felt like a knife. Not because he was trying to hurt her. Because she knew he was telling the truth about what he felt.

Razeal eventually shook his head again.

"You still don’t understand." His voice became quieter.

"It was never about forgiveness." His eyes returned to hers. "Not back then.. Not now." He slowly exhaled.

"I never wanted some grand gesture." His voice remained calm. "I never wanted someone to burn the world for me as apology." He shrugged.

"I never wanted anyone to suffer for me as show me how much they regret it.. Or know what did they do what guilt or pain."

"I don’t care about any of that." The silence stretched between them. Then his gaze locked onto hers once more. This time deeper than before. More vulnerable than before.

"All I ever wanted..." His voice nearly broke for the first time. He swallowed it back immediately. "...was for someone to look me in the eyes." His crimson eyes held years of hurt.

"With tears in their eyes."

"With love in their eyes."

"And tell me..." His voice became quiet. Painfully quiet. "Never leave me again." The words hung in the air.

For the first time, there was no anger in his voice.

Only hurt.

One simple thing.

And never received it.

"If you had just said those words when I came back..." Razeal’s voice came out low. So low that everyone present had to listen carefully to hear it. Yet somehow it felt heavier than all the shouting he had done before. His crimson eyes remained locked onto Merisa’s.

"I wouldn’t have cared." His jaw tightened. "I really wouldn’t have fucking cared." His teeth almost ground together as he spoke. The emotions he had buried for dayss as how be felt that time.. They were finally spilling out.

"Do you understand?" His eyes didn’t leave hers for even a second. "I wouldn’t have cared about the punishment. I wouldn’t have cared about the accusations. I wouldn’t have cared about the humiliation. I wouldn’t have cared about any of it." His voice grew rougher.

"If when I came back..." He swallowed slightly. "If when I came back someone had simply looked at me and told me they were happy I was alive."

The battlefield had gone completely silent. No wind. No movement. Nothing. Sofia felt her heart ache so badly that it almost hurt to breathe. Looking at Razeal’s side profile, she could finally see the sadness he always hid behind that cold face. The hurt. The loneliness. The disappointment. These weren’t things born today. These were wounds that had been carried for years.

Even Nerrisa had lowered her head slightly. For once the playful Empress had no jokes. No teasing remarks. No amusement. She simply stood there quietly listening. She couldn’t even bring herself to meet the young man’s gaze anymore. There was something deeply painful about hearing someone speak with so little anger and so much disappointment.

Meanwhile Merisa remained completely silent. Her wet eyes never left his face.

"I never wanted an apology." Razeal continue.

"I still don’t." He slowly shook his head. "I never wanted anyone to kneel before me. I never wanted anyone to beg for forgiveness. I never wanted grand gestures. I never want someone to tell me how much they fucking Regret it or that.." His gaze lowered briefly before rising again.

"All I wanted..." His voice became quieter. "...was that voice." A long pause followed. "That one voice." His crimson eyes seemed distant now. Looking at something only he could see.

"The voice that lets you know someone cares." Another pause. "The voice that lets you know someone missed you."

"The voice that makes you feel loved." His jaw tightened.

"Makes you feel wanted." The next words came out painfully. "Makes you feel like yes... I still have a family." A bitter smile appeared on his face before disappearing immediately.

"But no." He slowly shook his head. "Every expectation I had broke." The disappointment inside his voice was crushing. "Every single one." He looked at Merisa directly. "And after that..." A pause. "There was nothing left."

Nobody interrupted him.

"So yeah.. There is no forgiveness." Razeal continued.

"Not anymore." His voice remained calm. "Not because I’m angry." Another pause. "Not because I want revenge." He shook his head.

"It’s because forgiveness was something I was willing to give to family." His eyes sharpened slightly.

"But I don’t have one." The words landed heavily between them.

"I wanted one." His voice became softer. "More than anything." Another pause.

"But reality doesn’t care what we want." A bitter laugh escaped him. "Reality taught me that." His gaze drifted toward the sky briefly before returning to Merisa.

"And as for forcing myself to forgive you all because maybe I can get a happy family afterward..." He slowly shook his head.

"No." His voice was firm. "I won’t do it." His eyes remained steady. "Because I already know what will happen."

"My expectations will break again." The honesty inside those words hurt more than anything else he had said today. "And I don’t want that anymore." His voice lowered.

"I don’t want expectations anymore." His jaw tightened.

"Because expectations hurt."

"And..." For the first time his voice faltered slightly. Only slightly.

"It hurts when they break." Silence followed. The next words came out so quietly that they almost sounded like a confession.

"I hate feeling pain." His eyes lowered toward the ground.

"I hate that pain." This time there was no anger. No hatred. No sarcasm. Just truth. Pure truth. The words sounded as though they came from somewhere very deep inside him. Somewhere he never allowed anyone to see.

The moment those words left his mouth, something inside Merisa finally shattered.

He was afraid.

That was what she finally understood.

Not angry.

Not hateful.

Not stubborn.

Afraid.

Her son was afraid.

Afraid of hoping.

Afraid of believing.

Afraid of wanting something because he believed it would only be taken away from him again.

The realization hit her harder than anything else today.

All this time she had been looking at his anger.

His rejection.

His coldness.

His hatred.

But beneath all of that was something far more heartbreaking.

Fear.

The fear of disappointment.

The fear of being hurt again.

The fear of expecting love and finding nothing.

The fear of opening his heart only for it to be crushed.

And somehow that hurt more than all his accusations combined.

"I..." Merisa suddenly spoke.

Her voice sounded weak.

Fragile.

Almost broken.

"I am pathetic, aren’t I?"

The words escaped before she could stop them.

For the first time since this conversation began, she wasn’t defending herself.

Wasn’t explaining herself.

Wasn’t trying to justify anything.

She simply looked at him.

Really looked at him.

And saw what her failures had created.

A son who no longer believed he was loved.

A son who no longer wanted hope.

A son who had convinced himself it was safer not to expect anything from anyone.

Her wet eyes trembled.

Because she had done that.

Maybe not alone.

Maybe not intentionally.

But she had.

Razeal didn’t even respond.

He simply shook his head.

Not because he disagreed.

Not because he agreed.

Because he didn’t care anymore.

The energy to argue had left him.

The disappointment had already been spoken.

Everything that needed to be said had been said.

Slowly he turned around.

His back facing them.

The conversation was over.

At least for him.

He had said what he carried for years.

And he knew there was no answer waiting for him.

There never was.

There never had been.

Merisa watched him turn away and felt panic unlike anything she had experienced before.

Because for the first time she understood.

He wasn’t walking away out of anger.

He was walking away because he had given up.

And that was far worse.

"I am sorry."

Her voice came out as little more than a whisper.

"So... so sorry."

The words trembled.

Years of guilt hidden behind them.

Years of regret.

Years of pain.

"I am sorry I made you feel so alone."

Her eyes became even wetter.

"I am sorry I made your expectations break."

Her voice shook.

The next words almost failed to leave her mouth.

"And somewhere along the way..."

She forced a smile.

A painful smile.

The kind people wore when their hearts were breaking.

She looked at her son’s back.

The same back she once watched when he was a child running around the estate.

The same son she once thought would always stay beside her.

And now he felt farther away than anyone in the world.

"...to make my son became afraid to hope."

The words left her lips softly.

And for the first time that day, Merisa felt like she had finally understood what she had truly lost.

"I am sorry that today you had to tell me your feelings yourself." Merisa’s voice was quiet, yet every word carried weight. Her wet eyes remained on his back as he stood there.

"I am sorry that you had to explain your pain to me with your own mouth. That alone proves how badly I failed you." She forced a smile that only looked painful.

"A mother should have known. A mother should have seen it long ago. She shouldn’t need her son to stand in front of her and explain why or what he is hurting." Her fingers slowly clenched by her side. "The fact that you had to do that today is proof that I completely failed as your mother."

"An apology isn’t going to do anything." Razeal paused in his steps and slowly looked back at her over his shoulder. His voice wasn’t angry anymore. Just tired. "I don’t need it. I think I already told you that."

"I know." Merisa nodded immediately. Her sad smile remained. "I know you don’t need it." Her eyes met his. "I am not saying it because I think it will fix anything. I am saying it because I finally understand." She looked at him for several seconds before continuing.

"I finally realized it was never about that mistake." Her voice became softer. "It was never about the accusation. It was never about the punishment." Her eyes trembled slightly as she looked directly into his.

"It was only about my son."

The moment those words left her mouth, she bit her lip hard. Too hard. A thin line of blood slowly appeared. She didn’t even seem to notice it. It was as if all the guilt, realization and pain she had been holding back had finally crashed into her at once. The woman who had spent years convincing herself that everything was more complicated than it seemed was finally facing the simplest truth. Her son had only wanted to feel loved. That was all. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Razeal’s eyes opened slightly at her words. For a brief moment, genuine surprise appeared on his face. Then he quickly turned away again, taking one step before stopping. His hand tightened slightly.

"I..." The word escaped him before he could stop it.

For a few seconds he remained silent.

Then he spoke again.

"I hope you would’ve realized it long ago."

His voice was quiet.

Not hateful.

Not angry.

Just disappointed.

"And on your own."

The words came out even lower. Because that was the part that hurt the most.

Not that she understood now. That she hadn’t understood before.

He started walking again.

Merisa simply stood there watching his back leave.

Sofia was already looking at him with eyes full of sadness. The entire conversation had hurt her heart more than she expected. She had listened to every word. Every expectation he had carried. Every disappointment. Every hurt he had hidden for years. And the more she listened, the more she realized something.

Razeal wasn’t someone who wanted much.

The things he wanted were actually simple.

Painfully simple.

Which somehow made everything even sadder.

"I am sorry." The words suddenly left Sofia’s mouth before she could stop them.

Razeal blinked.

Then looked at her in confusion.

"Huh?" He frowned slightly. "What happened?" His expression had already started returning to normal. Almost as if none of the emotions from earlier had ever existed. "Why are you saying sorry?"

Sofia looked at him for a moment.

Then smiled.

A small smile.

A warm one.

"Nothing."

She shook her head.

But inside she was thinking something completely different.

How can you say all those things... and then act like nothing happened?

How much pain did you carry by yourself to become like this?

Just imagining it hurt.

Looking at him hurt.

Because she could finally see how lonely he had been.

"Weird woman." Razeal thought while looking at her.

He honestly had no idea what was going on inside her head.

But before he could ask again, Sofia leaned slight