Cultivation Chat Group Chapter 1 : Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch and Nine Provinces (1) Group
Chapter 1: Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch and the Nine Provinces (1) Group
Monday, May 20th, 2019.
The transition period between the end of spring and the onset of summer.
In the Jiang Nan region, the temperature fluctuation between day and night was extreme during this time of year. One could be sweltering in shorts like a roasted sausage under the afternoon sun, only to find themselves shivering under bedsheets like a frozen bird once night fell.
Jiang Nan University City.
At 2:30 PM, while most students were heading to their afternoon lectures, Song Shuhang remained isolated in his dorm room. He had dragged his computer desk right next to his mattress so he could lounge in any position while watching films.
Skipping class wasn't a normal habit for Song Shuhang. However, the previous night had started off humid and oppressive; in his sleep, he had performed a subconscious martial arts move he dubbed ‘Twin Dragon Emerging From The Seas,’ effectively kicking his blankets onto the floor.
By the second half of the night, the temperature plummeted. Clad only in a pair of boxers, Song Shuhang suffered the consequences. Half-asleep, his hands scrambled across the mattress in a desperate search, yet the blanket remained elusive. Ultimately, he was forced to curl into a tight ball like a mantis shrimp, trembling against the ruthless midnight chill.
By daybreak, Song Shuhang had officially joined the ranks of the seasonal flu victims.
His roommate had been kind enough to file a leave of absence for his classes today.
After swallowing some cold medicine, he had been drifting in and out of sleep until now.
Though his fever had subsided, his limbs felt heavy and weak. Attending lectures in such a state was out of the question, leaving him with nothing to do but combat his boredom by watching movies in his lonely dorm.
The progress bar on the monitor crept toward the finale, yet the plot failed to capture Shuhang’s interest.
“Is the medication still making me drowsy? I can’t stop yawning,” Song Shuhang muttered, feeling the weight of his eyelids.
‘Di di di~’ Suddenly, the chat software icon in the lower-right corner of his screen began to blink.
It indicated either a friend request or an invitation to a new group.
“Who’s looking for me?” Shuhang grumbled. He reached out and tapped the corner of his touchscreen, bringing up the notification window.
[Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch (＊＊＊＊＊＊) has requested to add you as a friend.] Message: None.
Yellow Mountain’s True Monarch? Who on earth would pick such a bizarre handle?
“Maybe it’s someone from my department?” Shuhang speculated. He thought of his classmates—people who were technically adults in university but still harbored deep adolescent fantasies. It wouldn't be beneath them to use such a dramatic alias.
With that thought in mind, he clicked ‘Accept.’
Immediately, a second system alert flashed on the screen.
[Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch has invited you to join the ‘Nine Provinces (1) Group.’ Do you accept?]
Song Shuhang hit ‘Accept’ once more.
‘Mt. Books’ Huge Pressure’ has joined the ‘Nine Provinces (1) Group.’
[You have successfully joined the group. Introduce yourself to your new companions!] The system even included a friendly smiley face.
Modern chat applications were becoming increasingly interactive these days.
Once the notifications stopped, Shuhang promptly minimized the windows. His exhaustion was too great to bother with a new chat group right now.
Besides, his settings were configured to ‘Mute notifications, show unread count only.’ The group messages wouldn't bother him with pop-ups; they would just accumulate quietly in the background.
He figured he could just check the chat history after his nap to see what the group was about, as the logs wouldn't disappear.
His eyes grew heavier...
The movie continued to play, but Song Shuhang’s mind drifted into a hazy fog.
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Inside the Nine Provinces (1) Group, several active members surfaced the moment the notification appeared.
North River’s Loose Practitioner: “Did the newcomer invited by Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch show up? It’s been about a year since we had fresh blood, hasn't it?”
Another user, ‘Su Clan’s Ah Qi,’ replied almost instantly: “A new fellow daoist? Which part of Huaxia do you hail from? In which cave do you perform your Cultivation? What is your Dao name, and what is your current Cultivation rank?”
The barrage of questions felt incredibly out of place for a normal chat room.
At that moment, a message from Mad Saber Three Waves appeared: “Is the new fellow daoist male or female? Are you a fairy? If you’re a lady, tell us your measurements and drop a photo!”
Looking at the posts from Su Clan’s Ah Qi and Mad Saber Three Waves, several other members likely winced behind their screens.
“Brother Three Waves, do you have the memory of a goldfish?” North River’s Loose Practitioner sighed. “Stop courting death. What if Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch just brought in a powerful senior?”
Three Waves was generally a good guy—helpful, loyal, and easy to get along with. His only flaw was his tendency to speak like a lecher, which often got him into trouble.
As it happened, his luck was abysmal. He possessed a talent for offending high-level seniors. Since those powerful experts were often bored, they took great pleasure in disciplining Mad Saber Three Waves whenever he served himself up as entertainment.
“I’m begging you, don’t use the phrase ‘powerful senior.’ It’s a traumatic memory for me,” Mad Saber Three Waves replied, followed by a string of crying emojis.
Four years prior, his big mouth had offended a stunningly beautiful ‘senior,’ leading to a nightmare that lasted a year and four months. That expert had tormented him relentlessly for that entire duration. Even now, the memory of those agonizing days brought tears to his eyes.
Following Three Waves' lament, the group was flooded with mischievous smirking emojis. Nobody even tried to hide their amusement at his expense.
Out of the last eight messages, six were nothing but mocking smiles.
“You people are heartless! I’m taking names. If I ever run into you in person, I’ll make sure you experience the bite of my 72 Paths of Rapid Saber!” Mad Saber Three Waves threatened. He was genuinely proud of his blade skills; he knew he could take down most of the people laughing at him in a fair duel.
The moment his threat was posted, another smirk appeared, this one from Su Clan’s Ah Qi.
Su Clan’s Ah Qi followed up with: “So, when are we scheduled for this duel?”
Ah Qi wasn't actually mocking him; he was simply a battle-hungry fanatic who never turned down a fight.
“……” Mad Saber Three Waves instantly deflated.
He knew he was no match for Ah Qi.
Despite his own impressive Cultivation—having reached the late stages of the 5th level Spirit Lord rank and standing on the cusp of the 6th level—he couldn't win against Ah Qi.
Even with his lightning-quick footwork and the ferocity of his 72 Paths Saber technique, victory remained out of reach.
He was the Mad Saber, a man whose rage was legendary, yet he was powerless against Ah Qi.
Seeing Three Waves back down so quickly, the group erupted into another round of laughing emojis.
“……” This time, Mad Saber Three Waves could only reply with a string of dots.
After all the commotion, the members realized the newcomer hadn't said a single word, which seemed odd.
“Is our new fellow daoist a lurker?” North River’s Loose Practitioner asked.
In reality, Song Shuhang had already succumbed to the effects of the medicine and was fast asleep.
Su Clan’s Ah Qi chimed in again: “I checked the profile; the new guy is named ‘Mt. Books’ Huge Pressure.’ Does that Dao name ring a bell for anyone? It sounds like someone from a scholarly Sect. How exciting! Those scholarly practitioners have been in seclusion for ages. I haven't sparred with one in nearly a century!
Come to think of it, those scholarly types are even more stubborn than the Buddhist Sects. They aren't just good with words; they have heavy fists too. And when the battle gets intense, they start reciting poetry to set the mood! I love fighting them.”
“Ah Qi, is fighting the only thing you think about when meeting someone new?” Mad Saber Three Waves sent a crying face. “That’s basically the mindset of a villain!”
“Ah... well,” Su Clan’s Ah Qi felt a bit sheepish.
North River’s Loose Practitioner teased: “Maybe it’s another senior who hasn't figured out how to use a smartphone yet?”
The theory seemed plausible to everyone. It felt like they were being ignored.
They remembered a senior from four years ago who had emerged from a century-long seclusion. She had been added by Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch but struggled with the interface and couldn't type.
Back then, Mad Saber Three Waves had acted like a creep, demanding her measurements, photos, and a voice clip.
A few days later, he met her in the flesh. She was a breathtaking beauty, radiating a grace like the full moon. However, she proceeded to make his life a living hell for sixteen months before she was finally satisfied.
Thinking of this, Mad Saber Three Waves felt like he should just go ahead and kneel now.
“Mt. Yellow?” A user named ‘Medicine Master’ suddenly posted.
It was a cryptic, two-word message that lacked context.
However, the veterans of the group were used to Medicine Master’s brevity. They understood he was asking for the whereabouts of the group founder, Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch.
Medicine Master wasn't being cold; he was simply using handwriting mode while doing two-finger push-ups, which made typing incredibly tedious. More words meant more potential errors, and deleting mistakes was a nightmare. Thus, he practiced a philosophy of 'words as precious as gold.'
“He logged off right after the invite. I heard his family’s Great Devil Dog got grumpy and ran away again. True Monarch is currently out chasing it.”
“……” replied Medicine Master.
“I guess we have to wait for the new fellow daoist to master the chat app before we can talk,” Su Clan’s Ah Qi sighed. They all assumed the newcomer was a fellow cultivator, as first impressions were hard to change.
Since the new member remained silent, the group's excitement died down, and the members went back to lurking.
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Roughly an hour later, Song Shuhang’s mind began to clear as he woke up.
“Right, I think someone added me to a group called Nine Provinces (1),” he murmured. He opened the chat window on his desktop to investigate.
What kind of place was this?
A full hour’s worth of conversation history appeared before him.
Shuhang scrolled through the messages.
Fellow Daoist? Cultivation cave? Rank?
Seniors? True Monarch? This Majesty? A Great Devil Dog on the loose?
The terminology was ripped straight from the pages of a Xianxia novel.
The linguistic style was also bizarre—a mix of pseudo-ancient and modern phrasing. It sounded like people trying to mimic historical dramas without actually knowing any classical Chinese, resulting in a very clunky dialogue.
“Pfft,” Shuhang laughed out loud.
Was this a fan club for Xianxia novels?
No, this was something more intense than a standard fan group.
Everyone had a Dao name, they lived in ‘caves,’ and even a lost pet was called a ‘Great Devil Dog.’ One person even claimed he hadn't fought a scholar in a century. Did that mean he was claiming to be hundreds of years old?
Reading the logs made Shuhang feel a sense of secondhand embarrassment.
“This level of immersion... they must have a severe case of Chuunibyou. Specifically, a very Chinese-flavored Xianxia delusion,” Shuhang decided.
This seemed to be a gathering spot for people who took their roleplaying way too seriously.
That was his initial take on the ‘Nine Provinces (1) Group.’
But why had they invited him?
Checking the profile of Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch, Shuhang confirmed he didn’t recognize the user at all. It definitely wasn't one of his classmates.
“Maybe it was just a random invite sent to the wrong person?”