As Aizen in Naruto and Joined a Chat Group Chapter 589: The Gluttonous Girl

Doujin Artist: “Concern for how she’s living,” my foot. You’re drooling over her body, aren’t you? That’s what this is really about.

Curly-haired Guy: Hmph. Disgusting.

Wig Guy: No, absolutely not! I’d stake my samurai soul on it, Katsura Kotaro harbors no such filthy designs! I merely feel that a woman raising a daughter and a younger sister all alone must find it terribly hard. I only… wish to offer her a little comfort, that’s all.

Pretty Boy from Skull Island: Anyone who believes a word of that is a genuine fool.

Foul-Mouthed Mask Guy: Yes, exactly. Wig, did you take everyone in this group for fools? Because clearly, we are not. Your little scheming streak is like a louse on a black braised-egg head, everything may be black on black, but it’s still plainly visible.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Pfft, a louse on a black braised-egg head? What, what kind of metaphor is that?!

This is an Actor: Nick Fury would give you a thumbs-up for that one.

Foul-Mouthed Mask Guy: No, no! Uncle needs no thumbs-up from that smelly moron! That damned bastard double-crossed me, he actually sent the Internal Revenue Service to my farm to collect taxes! Uncle is keeping a ledger of that one. Damned egghead!

Machete Girl: Oh? So it’s tax collection now? This Nick Fury has some real tricks, can he really be that nasty?

Foul-Mouthed Mask Guy: He doesn’t dare face Uncle in a real, honest fight, so he plays these sneaky little games! But make Uncle submit? Impossible! Absolutely impossible!

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Submit how, exactly?

Foul-Mouthed Mask Guy: Sign the accord joining the Avengers Alliance! Damn it, does he think Uncle doesn’t know? That thing is an indenture contract. A true, honest-to-goodness indenture contract! Free Uncle Wade will never be bound by any damned indenture contract!

Doujin Artist: Say whatever you like, the root of it is still that you didn’t pay your taxes. If you were actually a law-abiding citizen, he could never have threatened you at all.

“Mr. Shinigami, they’re here.”

Eriri’s message had only just gone out when Ashley’s voice sounded, right on cue. “To avoid complications, I may need to step away for a little while.”

Within the present-day Vandesse Empire, Ashley’s House of Lavender had already passed into history. More than that, she and her older sister Claire had both become wanted fugitives of the empire.

Though Ashley had altered her face with disguise magic, she could not fool the War Church’s high-tier professionals. If they discovered Ashley’s true identity, things would grow very troublesome.

“Mm.” Eriri gave a slight nod and tugged at her collar. “Understood.”

To maintain her image as an imperial noble, she was currently dressed in an exceedingly sumptuous pale-violet gown. The neckline cinched painfully tight, and it left her rather uncomfortable.

But for the sake of seeing her plan through, Eriri endured it in the end. Only after Ashley vanished through the rear door did the War Church’s clergymen, led by a servant, come strutting grandly into the hall.

Watching the two clergymen approach, Eriri rose at the proper moment and bowed. “Praise be to the God of War, who brings us harvest and plenty.”

“God gazes upon us.” The two clergymen gave slight nods, appearing satisfied with her opening prayer. “Then let us begin the test.”

Foul-Mouthed Mask Guy: Pay taxes? No! Uncle wouldn’t give these bloodsuckers a single cent! There is nothing to negotiate here. Not ever!

Machete Girl: That stubborn, is it? Mr. Deadpool, I’d advise you to think it over carefully. Crossing the American tax authorities is no joke.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: I think I’ve heard they’re deadlier than the actual US military? With sharper noses than the FBI?

Machete Girl: It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but not by much. These taxmen really do wield broader authority than the FBI. Once they’ve set their sights on you, if you don’t pay up on time, you may well end up openly at war with the entire machinery of the state.

Lin Fengjiao: In that case, wouldn’t that make you a rat scurrying across the street, beaten by every passerby?

Curly-haired Guy: What’s there to be scared of?! You think our Deadpool-san gives a damn? A pathetic little American tax bureau is squat! Face them head-on, that’s all! Worst case, ransack the President’s own house!

Foul-Mouthed Mask Guy: Mm. On this matter, Uncle needs to think it over. Carefully.

Curly-haired Guy: You chickened out?

Foul-Mouthed Mask Guy: Bullshit! Uncle simply doesn’t wish to see blood soak the land. The time for a showdown hasn’t come yet! Yes, exactly, it hasn’t come. Let me restate: this is NOT cowardice! This is STRATEGY!

Doujin Artist: Good grief. The moment you go from brainless brawler to man of strategy? Tsk tsk, how the times do change.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Indeed. [photo] This stewed squab with tea tree mushrooms is quite good. I never imagined Li Qingluo had this kind of skill.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Such a beautiful color. It looks delicious just from the photo!

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: My little niece seems to feel the same way. [photo]

When the photo opened, what met everyone’s eyes was a girl in a white gauze dress.

She looked about sixteen or seventeen, strikingly pretty, with brows and eyes like a painting. Only her gaze was rather… peculiar: locked dead onto the bowl of soup in Li Mochou’s hands, her expression brimming with naked longing.

Amegakure Village’s Angel: This is… Wang Yuyan?

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Mm.

Curly-haired Guy: Little auntie, I hear you’re in the market for a nephew-in-law! Look at me, look at me! This Gin-san swears he’ll love your niece forever!

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Ew, gross old man.

This is an Actor: Hurry up and feed the poor child a couple of bites already, she’s been cried to the point of drooling. Look, those sparkling, crystalline tears are about to spill right down her cheeks.

Doujin Artist: Hahahaha, “sparkling, crystalline tears,” he says.

Shark-Faced Guy: She’s crying so tragically. It truly tugs at the heart.

Machete Girl: Is my understanding of the source material broken, or was Wang Yuyan in the original Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils not like this?!

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: I find it awkward too, but her mother is right here.

Li Mochou knew perfectly well that if she shared even a bit of that squab soup with Wang Yuyan, the girl’s mother would absolutely wallop her backside later. And this was no first offense, there were actual precedents.

So, out of consideration for the girl’s backside, Li Mochou could only feign blindness to those pleading eyes and, with great magnanimity, finish the entire bowl of soup herself.

Under Wang Yuyan’s mournful gaze, Li Mochou picked up the silk napkin on the table, dabbed the corners of her mouth, and said, unhurried: “It seems your cooking hasn’t declined one bit after all these years.”

“As long as you enjoy it, that’s all that matters.” Li Qingluo’s eyes shone with excitement at her little sister’s praise, utterly without the cold hauteur of the original story. “Now that you’re back, you won’t be rushing off again so soon, will you?”