The Vampire & Her Witch Chapter 1992: Ashlynn’s Letters (Part Two)

~The nightmares came again last night. The dead won’t leave me alone.~

Jocelynn knew all too well the terrors that followed violent deaths. Some nights, she still woke with tears in her eyes and an arm reaching for Eleanor’s hand. Others, it was Percivus, bleeding from hundreds of shallow cuts, who taunted her from beyond the grave. Her hands were still rough from waking day after day to wash away the feeling of blood on her hands.

The feeling wouldn’t fade for hours, no matter how much she scrubbed. For Ashlynn, the haunting had been similar, but she carried so much more than her sister did.

~I’ve killed people, Jocey,~ the letter said.

~I haven’t killed wantonly. I’ve not turned into a monster, no matter what the Church says about witches. I hope you can believe that. But some people... It’s better for everyone that some people no longer exist in this world.~

~In a way, that makes it harder for me. I’m glad that Kaefin is dead, Jocey, because it means that he can’t hurt you or anyone close to you. He tried to force himself on me when he thought I was just a servant. I’d dyed my hair to spy on Owain in the Summer Villa, and I looked like a kitchen girl, and he thought he could take advantage.~

~Some nights, I can still feel his hands on me. His fingers were wide and thick, and his palms were soft, and I can’t forget the feeling of my knife sinking into his body. And the worst part, the part that makes me feel like a monster, is that it wasn’t difficult. I learned how to butcher swine so I could hide in the kitchens of the Summer Villa and Sir Kaefin’s body... It didn’t feel any different to my knife.~

"I might have been safe from Kaefin," Jocelynn said, tracing her fingers over her sister’s words. "But I doubt that Anne and Mary would have been... They might not even have told me what was wrong. I still looked at Owain with loving eyes after I thought he killed you," she added bitterly. "How could anyone who followed me expect me to protect them from the monster I’d betrayed my own sister to...

Ashlynn’s letter didn’t stop with Kaefin. She’d killed Sir Broll in a duel and she was glad to have killed one of the men who buried her alive.

~It didn’t stop the nightmares, though. I still see his sour face, staring down at me while the earth swallows me alive. Part of me is still stuck in that grave, Jocey, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back. Maybe when Tommin is dead, and Owain and whoever told Owain my secret... But that means I have to keep killing people, just to be free of the pain.~

~Maybe I am a monster, Jocey. But I don’t know what else to do. I have to see this through.~

Jocelynn set the letter down when the first tears spilled from her cheeks to the page in her hands.

"How could you think that you were the monster?" Jocelynn whispered. "When you never did anything to deserve this?"

The next letter stared at her like a viper, waiting to strike, but Jocelynn made herself reach for it anyway. This time, however, the tone of Ashlynn’s letter was completely different.

~I haven’t been good about explaining things. I don’t know if you’ll ever read these or not, but if you do, I’m sorry for how dark the last letters were. It hasn’t all been bad, I promise. I’m not suffering every day.~

~Nyrielle, the vampire I bound myself to, she’s so much more than that. I can feel her heartbeat in my chest, and she feels mine in her. It wasn’t love at first sight... I don’t know if she was able to love when we met, but the longer we’ve been together, the warmer she’s become.~

~She took me to a play. Only the Eldritch have a version of a play where dozens of musicians perform during the play, with music written to suit the mood of each scene. There’s singing and costumes, and we had a private room to ourselves to watch the play while we dined. It was amazing and magical, and I can’t wait to take you to one.~

~We also went to a masquerade ball. Jocey, you wouldn’t believe the dresses we wore, or the fine jewelry. I can’t imagine the daughters of dukes would have owned such finery. You would have loved it, every minute of it.~

Looking around Ashlynn’s sitting room, Jocelynn didn’t find Ashlynn’s statement hard to believe. Even when her sister dressed plainly, the quality of her garments, from the fine, precise stitching to the richly and evenly dyed fabric, was superior to what any but the most wealthy noblemen in Gaal could wear.

But As she read her sister’s neat, flowing hand, she felt an indescribable ache filling the space between the letters. A yearning and desire for what was missing.

~Compared to the world I saw in the High Fen, the Vale of Mists struggles too much. With few partners to trade with, they’re missing too many things. I’ve sworn to do something about it. The other day, I was writing out a plan, and I kept coming back to the Wheel of Wealth you taught me about and how we can make it spin faster in a place like the Vale.~

~Jocey, I miss you, and I hope, when we finally meet again, that you’ll come to see the Eldritch people as I have. I hope that you can stand beside me and help to rebuild the Vale because the task is so big and I know that Nyri and I can’t do it alone.~

~I need your help, Jocey. There’s no one better at these things than you, and if there is, I could never put my trust in them the way I can with you. When we meet again, please give me a chance to show you the wonders of the world I found... I know we can make a home here together, if you want to.~

~I miss you, Jocey, and I love you.~