Return of the Runebound Professor Chapter 924: Terra-ble problems

For a moment, neither of them spoke. They simply stood there and stared up at the Master Runes floating innocuously above them.

Noah could feel a headache starting to build. He’d known this was going to happen. There was no way Vivian could stroll into his soul and somehow entirely miss multiple Master Runes. She wouldn’t give much a shit about Combustion… but Sunder, the Fragment of Renewal, and Hollow Symphony weren’t exactly subtle.

And literally every single one of them was related to Vivian in some way or another.

Still, that hadn’t kept him from hoping. He’d almost gotten away with it.

“why Renewal wanted me to speak with you so badly,” Vivian breathed. “You her!”

“I most certainly did not,” Noah said. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “And don’t say it like that. I was just trying to live.”

“That’s how your memories survived the Waters of Life,” Vivian said, her words coming out faster than normal as realization finally lit within her. “And that other Master Rune! It’s from Decras! You ate two gods! As a mortal!”

“Okay. You’ve got to stop saying it like that. It’s getting some serious sexual undertones that really don’t need to be there,” Noah said. “I didn’t eat anyone. Their blood just happened to be in the Waters of Life when I was trying to avoid getting crushed in their fight. I — wait. Renewal wanted you to speak with me? You have a way to talk with her?”

It was Vivian’s turn to hesitate.

“I—”

“I’ve been waiting to get a message to her for ages,” Noah said. He let his arms fall and let out a relieved laugh. “Look. I know you’re her prophet or whatever, but she could really serve to get a bit better at communicating. I might have slightly stolen a bit of magic from her. It was entirely an accident. But maybe I can fix things. I really don’t need a god pissed at me. Get her a fruit basket or…”

He trailed off.

His eyes narrowed.

Then they went wide.

“Wait. Renewal say something, didn’t she? Noah pierced Vivian with an accusatory glare. “You said some gibberish to me when we first met. I was wondering why. Had me baffled for a little while, but I had bigger things to worry about. But now that I think about it, it made no sense at all. What was it that you said? Something about liking peaches? ”

Vivian froze. For a moment, she said nothing. Then a flicker of realization passed across her features.

“was what she meant?” she asked in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?”

“The hell, woman?” Noah exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “You had a message from Renewal for me this whole time? And it never once occurred to you to pass the damn thing along?”

“Watch your tone,” Vivian growled. “And I am nobody’s messenger. I did pass the message along. It is not my fault you misunderstood.”

“Peaches,” Noah muttered. He shook his head. “Fucking peaches. Doesn’t that mean she’s not actually mad at me? Renewal was just telling me what to put in my fruit basket. So I’ve been running from your crazy goons since I was back in Arbalest for absolutely no reason? Why didn’t you tell me properly?”

“I…” Vivian’s mouth snapped closed. She was silent for a moment. Then her eyes flicked to the side. And, more than anything else she could have done, that knocked the anger right out of Noah. Vivian, the Rank 8 Mage and Prophet of Renewal, was embarrassed. “I don’t know. I didn’t like you. Can you imagine the insult of a Rank 8 being told to act as a messenger to ?”

Noah stared at her. Then he started to laugh.

“You didn’t pass along your own god’s message because you… didn’t like me? Isn’t that insanely petty?”

“At what point did you get into your head that power somehow made people less petty?” Vivian asked. The corner of her lip twitched. “It is the exact opposite. Though I am certain Renewal would have died of laughter if she saw me talk you up at the masquerade, unaware of who you really were.”

Noah let out a snort. “Well, maybe she was planning on this from the start. Who knows how the gods work. You do realize we both would have been completely screwed had I ever somehow met Renewal without your message though, yes?”

“Some stones are best left unturned,” Vivian said. “The message has been passed on. That is what matters.”

“And there wasn’t anything else?” Noah asked doubtfully. “That was really it?”

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“That was it.”

“Seriously?”

“The gods do not often commune with mortals. The fact that you got even this is impossibly rare. And do not forget it wasn’t just Renewal that wanted to speak with you,” Vivian said. She thrust a finger up toward Sunder. “You managed to draw the attention and command of gods. It’s multiple different miracles that you’re alive right now. The fact that Decras’ minions haven’t found and torn you to pieces yet—”

“They did find me, actually,” Noah said.

That gave Vivian a moment of pause.

“And they know?” Vivian asked, blinking. “The Apostles are aware of your soul?”

Noah coughed into his fist. “Well, no. Not really. We just had a brief run in. Not all that much happened.”

“Good,” Vivian said. She pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a small sigh. “Gods. I can’t believe that the single cause of practically every inconvenience I have had lately is somehow you. And that third rune… is that from Night’s Shadow?”

“Yes,” Noah said. There was no point lying. Vivian definitely recognized it.

“How?” Vivian asked. Her head tilted back as she returned her attention to the rune. “That monster was truly powerful. Even I couldn’t finish it off completely. What is it about you that is so effective at making things kill themselves?”

“Now that’s just rude,” Noah said. “I didn’t make it kill itself. We we just had a talk, and the rune decided that I made a pretty convincing argument. Who was the one that shunted the Night’s Shadow into the Beyond and trapped it there? Because that wasn’t me. I might need a reminder.”

“Don’t get snippy with me,” Vivian said. She turned back to Noah to send him a befuddled glance. “You somehow convinced the Rune to strip hundreds upon hundreds of years of progress away and reduce itself to a level where it could partner with you? Just so you could escape the Beyond?”

“Survival is a very effective motivator,” Noah said. He was silent for a moment. “And no, you can’t have it. If you don’t want people taking stuff, you shouldn’t go throwing it away.”

“How was I to know that a little thief had somehow wormed its way into the Beyond?” Vivian sent him a flat look. “But I have not fallen so low that I would stoop to stealing from a Rank 5, no matter how infuriating he may be. What else have you been involved with? Are you somehow also one of the Truthseekers?”

“No,” Noah said. His eyes narrowed and his lips thinned. The Truthseekers were about as far from allies as anyone could possibly get for him. Nobody that put his students in danger was a friend in his books. “I hate those bastards. There’s no lost love between us whatsoever.”

“At least there’s that,” Vivian said with a relieved sigh. “It would have been a massive pain to figure out how to kill you at this point. At least there’s one faction that you aren’t involved—”

“They do think I’m a False Herald or some shit, though,” Noah said.

Vivian’s eye twitched. “I don’t believe their bullshit. But if anyone was somehow a Herald of Chaos, I could see it being you. Why am I not surprised?”

“It’s not like my association with them is through any desire of my own,” Noah said defensively. “Why do you think I tried to kill Og at the party? The only pity is that I don’t think I managed to pull it off. He definitely got out.”

Vivian just shook her head. “How does a single Rank 5 Mage somehow get themselves into so much shit? You stole from gods. You caused a massive manhunt for both my faction and the Apostles. You were there for the fall of Arbalest as one of the few survivors. You found my Citadel and immediately managed to free the Beyond from a prison that I have had it safely kept within for years. The Truthseekers name you to be one of the False Heralds. Is thrusting yourself into major events your hobby or something?”

“That is a really difficult question,” Noah informed Vivian. “I don’t exactly seek them out. It just keeps happening.”

“Is there anything I’m missing?” Vivian asked. She glanced around his soul as if expecting to find a monster lurking in the shadows waiting to jump on her.

“Probably,” Noah said. “But is that really relevant? My life story isn’t your problem. I’m not exactly asking you to be my master. If I recall, that was your suggestion.”

“You are asking for something far worse,” Vivian said, bending forward so their faces were at eye-level. “You wish me to be your ally.”

“That was a load of bullshit I was feeding to Rake to keep him off our asses,” Noah said. He didn’t pull back in the slightest and let his eyes meet Vivian’s. “I’m not asking you to do anything.”

“Except you have given me no choice,” Vivian said. Her cold gaze bore down on him with such intensity that he could have sworn her eyes themselves had Rune Force within them. “You bear the Beyond. I cannot let you leave without guidance. We are either allies… or we are enemies. And I will not abide by an enemy of my empire.”

Noah’s lips thinned. “I suppose it’s hard to fault you for actually trying to do your job. And I’m not going to say no to some help figuring out how the hell to manage shit. But I don’t want you rooting around in my personal life any more than I imagine you want me messing up yours.”

“That would be a safe assumption,” Vivian said. She sounded weary, now. “At the bare minimum, we must get through the tournament without the other Faction Heads realizing the truth. I cannot afford that. At this point, we have little choice. We must keep up your charade.”

“Don’t worry. I’m very good at bullshitting,” Noah said with a lopsided grin.

“You will have to be,” Vivian said. She blew out a breath and shook her head. Then she paused for a moment, glancing back up at his Master Runes before grimacing. “Do you realize that your soul is a literal insult to the Gods? Renewal and Decras… they have been at odds for as long as I know. You would be considered an abomination by anyone who knew the truth. The Apostles will tear you apart if they ever learn the truth. And my own faction would likely do much the same.”

“There’s a reason I don’t go advertising it,” Noah said dryly. “I don’t exactly invite people into my soul for fun.”

“You shouldn’t. With the way you have merged with the Beyond, who knows what would happen to someone unable to bear it,” Vivian warned. “We will have to look more into this after the tournament.”

Noah paused. He was surprised to find that he actually liked the idea of that. Vivian wasn’t exactly the kindest person he’d ever met. But she was reasonable, for a Rank 8 mage. And she knew how the Beyond worked. So long as she wasn’t trying to force him into being her apprentice, then there was genuinely a lot he could learn from a partnership with her.

“I suppose we will,” Noah said. “So we’re done here? We can leave my soul and move on to considerably less personal topics?”

Vivian squinted at him. “Are you trying to hide something else?”

“Probably,” Noah said.

Vivian snorted. “Very well. Then I will turn to other topics, as you request. You will get what you asked for. But, in turn, you will help me.”

“Help you?” Noah sent her a surprised look. “With what?”

“The Apostles,” Vivian replied grimly. “Something is amiss. They are here, at Aqua Terra. And I believe they are aiding the Truthseekers.”