Put Away Your Divine Techniques Now! Chapter 1 【What, My Biological Mother is a White Fox?】
（新书启航，每章公共版都有3K的保证，两章同时更新。请添加到您的书架。）
第一章 【什么？我的亲生母亲是白狐？】
陈琰坐在金陵府高铁站的候车大厅，抱着一个双肩包，目光放空地凝望着候车大厅内的宣传广告板。
周围人来人往，旅客们步履匆匆，没有人会注意到眼前这个在座位上发呆的年轻男人。
冬季已经降临，候车大厅内的中央空调效果不佳，温度偏低，让人觉得有些微微的寒意。然而陈琰的心里却感到有些燥热，仿佛只要稍有动作，心中便会燃起熊熊烈火。
事实上，就在今天上午，陈琰刚刚辞掉了公司的工作——嗯，也不能算是辞职。准确地说，他未能通过实习期，拍着屁股卷铺盖走人了。
今年的应届生秋招异常残酷，所以尽管这份工作像牲口一样累人，薪资却比鸡毛还要微薄，但几个月前，刚毕业的陈琰还是万般无奈地接受了这份offer。
实习期竟有三个月，工资还只有一半。
谁曾想，在这三个月里像牲口一样活着，每天给部门领导跑腿买东西、送外卖，偶尔充当小弟提行李，时常无偿加班熬夜，犯错时还要当替罪羊——结果这领导压根就不是人。
好吧，如今职场里像人一样的领导似乎已经不多了。
事情是这样的，就在今天上午，陈琰为领导下去买咖啡——这位老太太为了省几块钱的配送费，经常让他去。
还没返回办公室，陈琰就接到了老家打来的电话，说他奶奶生病了，如果能回去的话，过去看看最好。
陈琰去请假时，那位老太太一边啜饮着他买来的冰美式，一边讥讽道：“哦！怎么偏偏就在月底最忙的时候生病了，不是早也不行，晚也不行？”
此言一出，干了三个月牲口、当了三个月孙子、伺候了三个月老佛爷的陈琰，当即决定不再忍受。
他直接将为老太太买的外卖咖啡，朝着她的脑袋上浇了过去。
然后陈琰转身，离开了办公室，回到自己的工位上收拾好东西。
那位老太太气急败坏地从办公室追出来，在她十几位同事面前大声咒骂着陈琰。
陈琰并没有急赤白脸，只是脸上挂着年轻男子腼腆而温和的笑意，带着一丝 apologetic 的神情说道：
“Amanda，我真的不太喜欢比我年长的女性，所以，就算您给我升职我也不可能接受您，真的抱歉。”说完，他微笑着鞠了一躬。
话音落下，整个办公室区域顿时鸦雀无声！十几位同事的眼睛瞬间亮了，瞬间化身为吃瓜群众，
大家看着眼前这个年轻帅气的实习生，又看着眼前这位38岁的、风韵犹存的极品女中年Amanda……一个个目瞪口呆，心中疯狂呐喊着‘卧槽…’。
那位老太太气得直跳，只是说道：“你胡说……”
陈琰微笑着完成了鞠躬，拎起自己的包，直接冲出了公司，一路狂奔，打车直奔高铁站。
……
这并非什么‘00后清理职场’，只是一个被欺负得狗血淋头的年轻男孩，实在忍不下去了。
此刻，坐在高铁站候车大厅里的陈琰，心思早已不在公司那档子破事上，至于那个极品女中年Amanda，他更是懒得去想。
只是有些后悔，为什么毕业之后没有听奶奶的话，回到家乡和她一起继承‘衣钵’。
奶奶，陈琰口中的‘老太太’，自从陈琰两岁的时候起，就将他带大。
严格来说，陈琰是被奶奶捡回家的。
至于如何捡的，这些年老太太也一直没有说清楚过。
好吧，实际上是有许多个版本，老太太讲故事一直就这么任性！
陈琰六岁的时候，老太太说是在县医院妇产科外面一个垃圾桶里把他捡到的。
陈琰八岁那年，老太太改口说是在山上的一个破庙后面一棵大树下找到陈琰的。
陈琰十一岁的时候，老太太的故事又变成了，一个年轻貌美、走投无路的美丽女人，在风雪交加的夜晚，将陈琰送到奶奶家门口，留下了孩子和两百块钱就走了。
陈琰十五岁的时候，老太太说其实陈琰是被她从人贩子手里救下来的。
陈琰十八岁的时候……
呃，十八岁那个版本最为玄幻：
Upon a snowy night, a woman, strikingly beautiful and in dire straits, brought young Chen Yan to her doorstep, or so the old lady recounted.
Wait a moment! Wasn't this the exact same tale from eleven years prior?
But the old lady appended one final detail.
"Then, that woman transformed into a pure white fox, vanished into the snow, and disappeared into the vast mountains."
Hearing this account at the age of eighteen, Chen Yan was filled with outrage and a churning stomach!
Transformed into a White Fox?
Why not claim my mother morphed into Ultraman, then?!
`
This ancient woman, the storyteller, held a rather impressive, potent, and locally renowned profession.
She was, in fact, the most formidable...
…Divine Woman in the surrounding area.
That’s right, the title was literal.
She practiced feng shui, appraised burial sites, brandished peach wood swords, burned talismans, and dispelled malevolent spirits and calamities.
More than that, whenever a funeral was held, the old lady would be called upon to perform her ritualistic weeping.
With a sudden lurch, she’d tumble before the ancestral shrine and, facing the grieving sons and grandsons...
Uttering wails, she’d weep profusely for all to witness!
Tears were practically guaranteed!
The old lady, however, felt no shame in her work.
A single weeping session would cost eighty!
In her own words, it was considered an art form… a testament to the saying, "One can never have too much money!"
...
Several months back, just after Chen Yan had completed university, the old lady summoned him home.
Her intention was for Chen Yan to inherit her unconventional legacy.
Given his inability to secure a decent job in the bustling city, why not return to the village and become a prosperous… Divine Man!
Honestly… Chen Yan had genuinely considered this proposition at the time.
And he wasn’t exaggerating.
Locating employment nowadays proved incredibly challenging; rumors spoke of an overwhelming surge of graduates competing fiercely for even jobs that offered a mere few thousand yuan during the autumn recruitment period.
Chen Yan possessed a degree of self-awareness.
A degree from a non-prestigious undergraduate program nowadays offered little competitive edge in the autumn recruitment market.
Chen Yan, characteristically easygoing and lacking strong ambition, typically approached life with a relaxed attitude.
That is, until one delved into the depths of his personality, where a subtle sadistic streak resided.
For instance, while engrossed in a drama, upon a character’s demise…
Chen Yan would invariably rewind slightly, meticulously checking if the actor portraying the deceased managed to sneak in a blink or a breath.
In his everyday interactions with others, he maintained a generally kind demeanor – unless, of course, someone managed to genuinely provoke him to his absolute limit.
The old lady, in Chen Yan’s estimation, was akin to his very lungs; they were not to be carelessly stepped upon.
Throughout his twenty-two years of life, Chen Yan had only engaged in a single physical altercation: a group of rowdy village youths were causing a ruckus near the entrance, and one of them disparaged the old lady, describing her as a hag clad in garish, mismatched clothing with disheveled hair.
Chen Yan’s composure shattered; he, who was usually quick with a smile, clenched his fists and proceeded to beat up two boys who were a head taller than him, even managing to send one of them tumbling into the river.
Therefore, if the old lady desired Chen Yan to return and practice sorcery, he wouldn’t put up a fight.
However, relocating to the countryside carried a significant drawback.
Returning meant facing the inevitable onslaught of village matchmakers!
Marriages among rural folk typically occurred at a young age; at twenty-two, Chen Yan could already be a father, thus being pressured into matchmaking was entirely commonplace.
He had, in fact, encountered two such potential arrangements just last summer.
The most visually appealing young lady arrived with her father.
The girl’s father, possessing dark skin, broad shoulders, and a towering, sturdy physique, gave the impression of a man so robust he could effortlessly hoist a horse!
Then, observing the daughter…
Whoa~~! (Emulating Boss Guo’s distinctive tone)
She was the very spitting image of her formidable father!
·
Naturally, the union did not materialize; while the other party found Chen Yan’s handsome appearance appealing, he couldn’t stomach the virago of a daughter.
Furthermore, their demands were exorbitant: a bride price of eighteen thousand eight hundred, coupled with the requirement of adding her name to a county-level property deed.
In this current era, dealing with the complexities of city girls is exhausting enough; why would one return to the countryside to pursue a bucolic goddess?
Consequently, he secured a demanding job in Jinling Prefecture, thereby sparing his grandmother undue worry.
...
After a journey of two and a half hours via high-speed train, followed by a transfer to a one-hour long-distance bus ride, and finally a three-mile trek on foot.
He finally arrived at the familiar threshold of his village…
As he ambled along the well-known village paths, observing the rustic dwellings on either side and the chickens and dogs meandering about without a care.
Chen Yan felt a surge of emotion as he approached his home.
Sigh… that enigmatic and perpetually dramatic old lady… how was she faring now? The village elder had called to inform him of her illness, but he hadn’t disclosed the severity—yet, if the ailment weren't serious, he wouldn’t have urged him to return.
The old lady now… surely she couldn’t sit cross-legged, regaling him with tales of Zhong Kui capturing ghosts, could she?
And she couldn’t summon spirits with her booming voice, nor perform her ritualistic dances, right?
What kind of scene awaited Chen Yan upon his return?
An elderly woman confined to her bed, appearing pale and unwell, frail and aged?
Stepping into his family’s courtyard, Chen Yan instinctively slowed his pace.
A warmth welled up in his eyes.
Suddenly, all of the old lady's kindness surged into his heart.
Her stir-fried meat with edamame, fanning away mosquitoes in the summer... and the joy of him eating the sweetest part of the watermelon she cut...
His hand was already on his home's door, his ears ringing – likely a hallucination.
Taking a deep breath, his eyes nearly welling up, Chen Yan gently pushed the door open.
And then...
He was utterly astonished.
...
Inside the living hall of his home, a New Year's painting from the previous Spring Festival, which had not yet been taken down, was displayed on the welcoming wall.
The painting depicted a boy and girl dragon, along with chubby tiger heads, holding gold ingots on either side...
Yes, many rural New Year paintings featured such traditional imagery.
Near the main door, a worn straw hat rested, and to its left, half a bag of corn.
And in the center...
A square table draped with a red tablecloth. Four elders were locked in an intense battle!
At the head seat, a vibrant and energetic old lady, her silver hair neatly tied into a large bun, clad in cloth shoes, held a smoking pipe in one hand and an object in the other, her fingers rhythmically rubbing it.
Her eyes were crinkled into a smile.
Then, she tossed the object from her right hand to the center of the table.
"Eight thousand!"
She then pushed her tiles forward.
"My own win! Pay up! Don't even think about slipping away! Finally caught a big one!"
The old lady cackled, revealing her teeth.
Thud.
Chen Yan's bag dropped to the ground.
Severely ill?
Chen Yan's immediate thought was: I've been completely deceived?!
·
[This is the very first chapter of the new book! Please add it to your bookshelf; it's incredibly important!!]
Your support, from both new and long-time readers, is greatly appreciated!
Thank you to my long-time readers for your continued indulgences.
I request bookshelf additions, recommendations, and follow-up reads!
·