My Scumbag System Chapter 470: Breeding Habits and Battle Plans

~8 minute read · 2,033 words
Previously on My Scumbag System...
The protagonist checks on their companions via their bond, confirming their well-being. Soomin arrives, apologizing for the "Fox's" earlier actions and offering dried squid as a peace offering. She then asks to watch the protagonist train, during which the protagonist tests their greatly enhanced abilities. Soomin, influenced by the Fox, notes the protagonist's increased danger and strength. They discuss Soomin's recent mission performance, and the protagonist encourages her to trust the Fox's power. With a mission imminent and Reyna's arrival four days away, the protagonist feels the pressure to improve significantly.
Steam billowed around me as I exited the shower, a visible manifestation of my lingering unease. The mirror was completely obscured by condensation, presenting a blank, reflective surface that showed nothing. Good. I had no strong desire to face my own reflection at this particular moment. Sixty-eight hours remained until the confrontation with Reyna. Sixty-eight hours to somehow concoct a plan that would prevent my swift and disastrous demise before the entire Academy, a spectacle broadcast live for the amusement of every guild recruiter and faculty sadist on this desolate island. "Master now carries a significantly improved scent." I nearly jumped out of my skin. Maki was casually perched on the bathroom counter, her legs dangling over the edge with the nonchalance of a creature utterly unconcerned with societal norms. She was in her human form, naturally, still swathed only in my oversized hoodie, which she seemed to have adopted as her personal sleepwear. Her bare legs swung idly, and a familiar spike of annoyance flared as I realized she had, once again, disregarded the necessity of undergarments. "How in the world did you get in here?" "The door." She gestured with the air of explaining a rudimentary concept to a child, pointing towards the closed and purportedly locked bathroom door. "It possesses a handle. A rather useful human invention. I find it commendable." "I secured that door. With deliberate intent." "Locks serve merely as polite suggestions for those lacking in talent." With a fluid, feline motion, she dismounted from the counter and padded towards me, her bare feet making no sound. Her golden eyes shimmered with a specific type of mischief, signaling an impending statement that would undoubtedly advance my age by a decade. "Master is exhibiting nervousness. Heart rate is considerably elevated beyond the established baseline. Cortisol levels are practically erupting through the metaphorical ceiling. Quite detectable." "I am perfectly fine." "Master is a falsehood-spewing entity." She tapped my chest with a finger tipped with a sharp nail, directly over my heart. "Fortuitously, deception is prominently listed among Master's acknowledged proficiencies. A highly valuable asset for a scumbag. I endorse this chosen vocation." I seized a towel from the nearby rack with perhaps more force than was strictly necessary, wrapping it around my waist in a gesture I fervently hoped would signal the end of our conversation. "You must revert to your true form and return to my chambers immediately. This is to prevent discovery, which would necessitate an explanation for the presence of an unclothed female within my bathroom." "Why would Master find it necessary to explain? Soomin is already apprised of my existence and has seemingly accepted this reality. The possessive purple one is aware and has clearly communicated her territorial displeasure. The icy one appears largely indifferent to my presence." Maki began ticking points off on her fingers with the meticulousness of someone presenting irrefutable evidence. "The blue-hued healing one will soon ascertain the truth—her perceptive faculties are demonstrably improving. And the brazen chain-wielding one already harbors suspicions regarding intriguing nocturnal activities occurring within Master's quarters." "Refrain from labeling Akari as brazen." "But she objectively is!" Maki's grin widened into a truly feral expression, revealing sharp teeth and a primal delight. "I can detect it emanating from her. Her pheromones do not deceive. She desires Master with considerable intensity. Almost as vehemently as the purple one, albeit with substantially less emotional entanglement and a significantly more immediate carnal drive." "I will not engage in this discourse with you. Not now, and certainly not ever." "And why not? I am Master's familiar. It falls squarely within my designated purpose to possess knowledge of Master's reproductive habits and territorial expansion strategies." I felt as though I was choking on air. "My what?" "Reproductive habits. Mating rituals. Procreation scheduling and partner selection protocols." She tilted her head, a flicker of genuine bewilderment crossing her features. "Is Master perhaps intellectually deficient? My understanding was that humans possessed at least a rudimentary grasp of basic mammalian biology." "My comprehension of biology is perfectly adequate, I assure you." "Then kindly elucidate why Master persistently deposits his genetic material into five distinct females without formally claiming any of them in accordance with established territorial dominance protocols. It represents a highly inefficient methodology. I find it objectionable." A sharp rapping on the door provided an unexpected reprieve, saving me from the necessity of formulating a response to that utterly nightmarish inquiry. Natalia's voice cut through the wood, laced with sharp suspicion, a tone that invariably suggested she was already privy to the precise nature of the chaos likely unfolding on the other side. "Satori. An urgent strategy session is scheduled downstairs in ten minutes. Punctuality is expected." "I shall attend momentarily," I called back, directing a pointed glare at Maki, a silent communication of extreme displeasure. "Is that disreputable feline consorting with you in there again?"

Just as I was about to concoct some plausible excuse, Maki transformed, shifting into a compact ball of fluffy black fur, exuding an air of pure innocence. She settled gracefully on the kitchen counter, her twin tails flicking with an aloof elegance, the very image of a well-behaved feline companion.

"Just Bartholomew and I were engaged in some quality bonding time," I declared.

A prolonged, disbelieving silence emanated from the other side of the door.

Then, the distinct sound of footsteps receding down the hall, each step laden with undeniable skepticism.

I held my breath, listening until the sounds faded completely, counting to thirty in my head to ensure she wasn't lurking nearby.

"That was a terrifyingly close call," I muttered.

With a satisfied little wiggle, Maki shifted back to her human form, clearly pleased with her performance.

"The purple-haired one is exceptionally possessive of Master's attention and time. I find her quite appealing. She exhibits excellent territorial instincts, much like a cat. I approve of her as a potential primary mate choice." Maki's eyes, glowing like molten gold under the bathroom's harsh fluorescent light, held mine. "So is this one, though. But I am willing to share Master's affections and breeding opportunities, as Master has proven himself worthy of such contention. This is a significant compliment, Master should feel honored."

"You're not fighting anyone. Ever. That's a direct order."

"Yet," she countered, a grin splitting her face, revealing far too many teeth. "Master said 'yet.' That implies future authorization. I shall record this conversation for future legal reference."

Before I could retort, she transformed again, reverting to her innocent cat persona.

Technically, progress had been made.

I quickly dressed, grabbing the first clean, functional clothes I could find: black joggers that had miraculously survived three days of grueling training, a gray hoodie that was more of a comfort blanket than a fashion item, and shoes sturdy enough to withstand a desperate flight for survival.

The cat followed me downstairs, her twin tails swaying in perfect unison, radiating an air of smug triumph.

The common room teemed with activity.

Apparently, everyone had returned from their afternoon errands, transforming the space into a scene of controlled chaos that, miraculously, hadn't erupted into outright brawls.

Raphael lounged on the main sofa, engaged in a heated debate with Marco and Malachi, a discussion that would likely culminate in significant property damage later. In the corner, Jaime was performing push-ups, as usual – the man utilized every available surface for his workouts. Juan, leaning against the wall, had somehow managed to nap standing up, a testament to his sheer willpower and determination to avoid group activities.

Isabelle sat poised on the armrest, like a queen observing her boisterous court, engrossed in her tablet with an intensity that suggested either critical research or an indulgence in highly sensational romance novels. The savvy bet was on both.

Hikari spotted me and her entire face lit up, her golden retriever-like enthusiasm a blend of endearing and alarming.

"Satori! You're alive! You made it! Akari told me you fought a Hydra-Lich armed with only a baseball bat and sheer nerve!"

"Just a typical Tuesday," I replied, attempting to downplay the outrageousness of it all.

"That's incredibly awesome!" Her grip on my arm was like enthusiastic steel, nearly dislocating my shoulder. "You have to teach me how to fight giant, multi-headed undead monstrosities! Please, please, please!"

"Perhaps later. Once I'm not facing imminent death in three days."

"Promise?"

"Absolutely. We can schedule your monster-slaying lessons right after my funeral."

She then enveloped me in what she likely intended as a friendly hug, but felt more like being crushed by a hydraulic press. My ribs emitted an ominous creak. Releasing me, she bounced back to the sofa, apparently satisfied with the arrangement.

From the kitchen, Emi emerged, laden with enough food to sustain a small army or one particularly high-strung university student: pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, hash browns, and three varieties of jam. Her stress-induced culinary endeavors indicated her anxiety about Wednesday had reached a fever pitch.

"Satori! You must eat right away!" She shoved a heavily laden plate into my hands with an assertive maternal force that left no room for refusal. "You barely consumed anything yesterday!"

"I ate. That sandwich was perfectly sufficient."

"A single sandwich is hardly adequate nutrition for someone preparing to face an A-Rank prodigy!"

At that moment, Skylar appeared at my elbow, seemingly summoned by the scent of impending drama and breakfast delicacies.

"She began cooking at six this morning," she stated with her usual lack of emotion.

"It’s barely eight."

"Precisely." Skylar unashamedly snatched a piece of bacon from my plate. "Some people deal with intense anxiety through music or meditation. Emi channels hers into creating an overwhelming amount of carbohydrates. We all find our own ways to cope."

Celeste was seated at the dining table, Noah a silent and vigilant guardian behind her chair, as always. Monica occupied a corner, engaged in a hushed conversation with Ferdinand, punctuated by numerous hand gestures and expressions of concern. Akari reclined on the loveseat, meticulously filing her nails with an air of casualness that couldn't quite mask the tension in her shoulders.

Natalia stood by the window, arms crossed, her gaze fixed on me. Her intense purple eyes seemed capable of piercing through any defense I attempted to erect. The white streaks in her hair caught the morning light, lending her an appearance that was simultaneously otherworldly and perilous.

I moved across the room towards her, navigating through the gathered individuals and ongoing discussions.

"Hey."

"Hey to you too." She turned slightly, not fully facing me but acknowledging my approach. "You gambled with the gacha last night. Don’t even think about denying it."

"How on earth did you find out?"

"You have that particular expression. The one you get when you’ve committed a monumentally reckless act and are now awaiting the potentially catastrophic consequences." Her hand reached for mine, fingers intertwining with practiced fluidity. "I’m starting to recognize your patterns."

"It turned out alright, mostly. No explosions, at least not yet."

"This time, it worked out." Her grip tightened subtly. "Next time, you’ll consult me before embarking on some foolish endeavor."

"So you can dissuade me from it?"

"So I can be there in person when it inevitably goes awry, and I have to rescue you." She paused, a softer expression momentarily gracing her features. "Once again."

I squeezed her hand, my thumb stroking across her knuckles.

The moment was abruptly interrupted by Braxton’s entrance. He looked utterly ravaged, like a ghost haunting a diner. Carmen followed close behind, her flask already open and astonishingly half-empty for this early hour.

"Alright, listen up, you miserable lot," Braxton declared, his voice like grinding stones cutting through the various conversations. "The tournament commences in precisely four weeks. That gives you twenty-eight days to cease being a walking disgrace to my teaching and this guild’s esteemed reputation."

"We are currently holding the first-place position," Raphael interjected, his tone laced with his typical confrontational defensiveness.