My Scumbag System Chapter 374: Glowy McRabbitface Is a Liar

The creature hopped fully into view. It had six legs instead of four, and its eyes were completely black, like polished stones. It sat back on its haunches and stared at us, twitching its nose.

"Should we wake Monica?" Raphael asked.

"Not yet. Let’s see what it—"

The creature chirped, a high-pitched sound like a bird call, then turned and hopped back toward the bushes. At the edge, it stopped and looked back at us, chirping again.

"I think it wants us to follow it," I said.

"Oh yeah, because following strange glowing animals in a death trap Garden of Eden is a great idea." Raphael rolled his eyes.

"Got a better one? We need to find the Arborist."

"We need to not get killed by the first weird rabbit that hops our way."

The creature chirped again, more insistent this time.

"I’m going to follow it," I decided. "You stay with the others. If I’m not back in twenty minutes, assume I’m dead and move on without me."

"That’s your plan? ’Assume I’m dead’? That’s the dumbest—"

"I’ll be fine." I started toward the creature. "Just keep everyone safe until I get back."

Raphael cursed under his breath but didn’t stop me.

The glowing rabbit-squirrel thing led me through the bushes and onto a narrow path I hadn’t noticed before. The vegetation here was different—smaller, more delicate plants with translucent leaves that seemed to pulse with light as I passed. The path wound through what felt like a botanical garden gone wild, with species that couldn’t possibly exist together naturally growing side by side.

My guide stopped at the base of a massive tree unlike any I’d seen before. Its trunk was thick as a house, with bark that shifted colors like oil on water. Suspended from its branches were what looked like lanterns, but they were actually giant seed pods that glowed with inner light.

The creature chirped one last time, then scurried up the trunk and disappeared into the foliage.

"Great. Thanks for nothing, Glowy McRabbitface."

I was about to turn back when I noticed a pattern in the bark—symbols carved into the wood that looked like writing. I stepped closer, running my fingers over the marks. They were definitely artificial, not natural growth patterns.

As soon as my hand touched the bark, the entire tree shuddered. The seed pods swayed, their light intensifying. Then a voice spoke—not out loud, but directly into my mind.

I jerked my hand back, gripping my bat tighter. "Who’s there?"

"Are you... talking through the tree?"

My heart pounded. This was it—a direct line to information about our enemy. "What is the Arborist? How do we kill it?"

The tree’s leaves rustled with what sounded like laughter.

"Yeah, well, I’m not them. Tell me what this thing is."

The voice was filled with a chilling reverence.

"He’s killing Hunters to save flowers?"

A chill ran down my spine. "Tests for what?"

"You’re telling me this psycho plant collector is looking for a mate?"

"And that’s what the Gate is? A giant dating app for body snatchers?"

I needed to get back to the others. We were in way deeper shit than I thought. "Where is he now? The Arborist?"

"Yeah, we’ll see about that. I’m not big on following other people’s schedules."

The tree’s branches swayed again.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about."

I stepped back from the tree. "One more question. How do we get out of the Black Gate without playing his game?"

The tree’s light dimmed, and I could feel its presence withdrawing from my mind.

"Hey, I’m not done with you!" I slapped my hand against the bark again, but nothing happened. The connection was broken.

"Son of a bitch," I muttered, turning back toward camp.

We were so screwed. This wasn’t just a monster hunt anymore. We were trapped in some interdimensional pervert’s testing ground, being evaluated as potential body suits for a dying entity with a plant fetish.

And somehow, it knew about Kaelen—about the part of me that didn’t belong in this world.

I hurried back along the path, my mind racing. I needed to tell the others... what, exactly? That we were being sized up for possession by a plant god? That would go over well.

As I approached the camp, I saw Raphael still sitting alert, his eyes immediately finding me in the darkness.

"You’re back," he said, sounding almost surprised. "Find anything?"

I sat down heavily beside him. "Oh, you know. Just the answers to all our questions and confirmation that we’re completely, utterly fucked."

His eyes narrowed. "What does that mean?"

I took a deep breath. "It means we need a new plan. And probably some therapy after this, if we survive."

"That bad, huh?"

"Worse." I looked around at our sleeping companions. "Wake them up. They need to hear this."