My Living Shadow System Devours To Make Me Stronger Chapter 862 - 863: I Can Explain

From a tender age, Renata had been coerced into a maturity far beyond her years. Her household existed in a perpetual state of high alert.

Damon scrutinized her, a frown deepening on his face. He would be a complete idiot if he permitted a seductive woman’s presence on his lap to distract him from vital details.

While the arrangement appeared intentionally provocative at first glance, the purpose wasn't mere titillation.

Renata’s position on Damon’s thighs wasn't driven by lust; it was a maneuver for control established through vulnerability.

She wasn't attempting to seduce him into bed. She was conducting a far more perilous evaluation.

’Is it possible for me to be near you without becoming a tool for your use?’

The physical intimacy she displayed stood in stark opposition to her emotional walls. Even as she pressed her frame against him, she kept her heart guarded, and that very contradiction defined her essence.

This single concept served as the thesis for her entire life.

"Everything you hold dear is simply a handle for others to seize."

This wasn't just cynicism; it was a doctrine for survival. It was a philosophy entirely distinct from his own.

Renata’s coldness didn't stem from a lack of emotion. She was frozen because she had been conditioned to view feeling as a fatal liability.

The most unsettling realization was that she didn't seem to harbor resentment toward her parents for this upbringing.

She understood their reasoning.

While Damon claimed to value nothing, Renata had actually put that void into practice.

The scars of that cost were evident.

He conceded that he had always sensed an abnormality within her, though he had never granted her much focus. He had simply assumed that if she ever turned against him, he could suppress her using Demon Dominate.

"Efficiency was the core of my upbringing. I was told our sole purpose was to serve Lord Ashcroft, who would be our savior."

A soft sigh escaped her, her chest heaving as she carefully moderated her respiration.

"Possession was forbidden to me, so nothing was ever in my name. Occasionally, my parents would buy me a gift on purpose, waiting until I grew attached to it just so they could snatch it away."

A faint, mournful smile touched her lips. Her violet eyes lost their luster, drained of their usual poise.

"One day, I found a friend. She was just a young human girl."

Renata’s smile softened at the recollection.

"Her life was the polar opposite of mine. She didn't waste her days in study. Her smiles weren't practiced for hours in a mirror. She simply loved flowers and played in the dirt like any normal child."

Renata felt both envy and admiration for her.

The girl living in the castle was merely a maid's daughter. Her mother had succumbed to sickness, and her father had been slain by a passing noble.

Being prudent, Renata had researched her thoroughly, eventually knowing more about the girl's history than the girl did herself.

Consequently, the girl was assigned as her servant.

Renata had never possessed a personal maid before; despite having many attendants, none were hers alone. Even so, she maintained her distance for months, fighting the urge to bond.

However, despite the cruel reputation of demons in dark legends, they were capable of profound emotion. In Renata’s world, the passage of time became the catalyst for her attachment.

The girl became more than a servant. She became a friend—Renata's only one.

"Mira, how do you stay so cheerful after losing everything?"

The young maid offered a radiant grin.

"I can't stay miserable forever. A smile says more than a million words. You should try it too. You’d be beautiful—prettier than anyone I’ve ever seen."

Renata let out a genuine, heartfelt chuckle.

There were few things she cared for, but she truly loved Mira.

The following morning, Mira never arrived.

When Renata went to search for her, the hallways were filled with a thick, metallic stench.

The smell of blood.

Rounding the corner, the color fled from her face.

The sight was seared into her memory forever.

Mira’s lifeless body was impaled, her wide eyes frozen in a mask of terror. Blood had drenched her hair, turning it a sickening shade of crimson.

The sound of soft footsteps approached from behind her.

"Why?" she whispered.

Her father sighed, his voice carrying a note of feigned sorrow.

"If you are hurting, Renata, it is because you allowed yourself to value something. You gave them a handle to wound you with."

She fell to her knees as a crushing agony filled her chest.

She wanted this pain to vanish.

She vowed never to care again. Never to value a single thing.

Why did Mira have to die?

It was her own fault.

Driven by fury, she struck out at her parents. She sought to take something from them, yet she realized she didn't know what they actually valued.

In that moment of rage, her will ignited, awakening the potential of her attribute.

Zero.

Her magical affinity held the power to nullify existence itself.

But her attempt failed.

They were far more powerful, and no harm reached them. They were her parents, after all.

Damon’s expression darkened as he looked at her. To endure such a thing was horrific.

"I only want to prove that they were wrong," she whispered.

"And what became of them? Your parents?"

Renata let out a breath and rested her head against his shoulder, a gesture that was both gentle and intentional.

"An imperial summons sent them to the front lines against the demon army. They died in the conflict, leaving the house to me. As the sole survivor, I chose my own path."

Damon shifted his hand to her waist, stabilizing her weight on his lap.

"So you transformed your house into a major economic power."

She gave a slow nod.

"I did, though it brought fresh troubles. Suddenly, everyone was watching me. Some disgusting men even tried to force a marriage just to seize my lands."

Damon let out a sigh.

"And how does that lead to you choosing me over Ashcroft?"

She tapped her chin in thought.

"Ashcroft belongs to a bygone era. My ancestors followed him, and their devotion cost me dearly. The unknown god believes mortals should choose their own destiny. I want the freedom to choose mine."

She gave him a smile that was finally real—neither seductive nor calculated.

"I am Renata Malcrist. A demon."

Damon smiled slightly, touching the spot where his horns had once been filed down.

"Damon Grey. Still human, for the time being. But I’d appreciate it if you taught me how to conceal these demonic traits."

She looked at him and laughed, leaning in until their noses nearly brushed.

"And what do I get in return? You’ll owe me some very intimate favors, cutie."

"What in the world is happening here?"

The voice sounded as if it had been dragged from the depths of the abyss.

Damon’s hands immediately retreated from Renata’s waist. This situation was far worse than being caught by Evangeline.

He turned his gaze toward the balcony entrance.

His throat went dry at the sight of them.

Sylvia stood there, practically vibrating with homicidal intent.

Beside her, Lilith Astranova watched him with a look of pure, deadpan loathing.

"It’s not what it looks like. I can explain everything!"