Heaven Official's Blessing Chapter 5

Sensing their stares, Xie Lian offered a gentle smile before turning. He inquired, "Is this your initial encounter with a true cursed collar?"

A cursed collar, as its name distinctly suggests, is a curse manifested in the form of shackles.

When Heavenly Officials are demoted and exiled from the Heavens, an imprint symbolizing their transgressions is etched upon their persons, a tangible representation of Heaven's accumulated wrath. This imprint takes the form of shackles, effectively impeding the Heavenly Official's spiritual power. It is an inescapable and permanent affliction, akin to a facial tattoo or the binding of one's limbs with chains. It serves as both a punishment and a stark warning, designed to instill profound fear and deep shame.

As the object of ridicule throughout the three realms and an individual twice banished from the Celestial Empire, Xie Lian bears this cursed collar. It is highly improbable that these two minor martial gods have never encountered tales of this phenomenon. Nevertheless, a significant distinction exists between hearing hearsay and witnessing it firsthand. Thus, Xie Lian could readily comprehend the expressions that had settled upon the faces of the two martial gods.

He surmised that his cursed collar likely engendered a sense of apprehension and unease within them. After all, it is an emblem of ill fortune.

Utilizing the pretext of needing a new tunic, Xie Lian had intended to venture out for a solitary stroll. However, this plan was thwarted when Fu Yao rolled his eyes and declared, "It would be utterly scandalous for you to promenade down the main thoroughfare in your current state." Ultimately, it was Nan Feng who procured some clothing from the temple for Xie Lian, thereby preventing his 'scandalous' escapade. Yet, after Xie Lian had attended to his appearance and resumed his seat, he perceived that the atmosphere had become rather strained following the preceding events.

Consequently, Xie Lian retrieved the scroll that Ling Wen Palace Hall had prepared, posing the question, "Would you gentlemen care to peruse this once more?"

Nan Feng inclined his head, offering a brief glance, before responding, "I have already viewed it. I believe it is he who requires a more thorough examination."

Fu Yao countered, "What do you mean I should be the one to take a better look? That scroll lacked any substantive details—entirely devoid of merit. Does it even warrant a second reading?"

Upon hearing Fu Yao dismiss the scroll as utterly worthless, Xie Lian couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for the literary deities of Ling Wen Palace Hall. Those gods, who meticulously crafted numerous scrolls, had their visages turn ashen. Then, Xie Lian overheard Fu Yao continuing, "Ah, where were we? Oh yes, the underlying cause for Nan Yang's considerable female following, was it not?"

Very well. Xie Lian carefully put away the scroll, gently massaging the pulsing spot between his eyes. In his mind, he acknowledged that no productive reading would transpire this night.

If no proper work could be undertaken, then at least the current predicament could be elucidated. It transpired that, aside from His Royal Highness the Crown Prince, who dedicated centuries to amassing curiosities in the mortal realm, all other deities were now cognizant of the reason. Nan Yang ZhenJun, Feng Xin, had, for a span of several years, been known as Ju Yang (Tremendous Masculinity) ZhenJun. The man himself harbored a profound aversion to this appellation. Regarding the experiences Feng Xin endured, others could only summarize their sentiments with the exclamation: "What an egregious injustice!"

This was because the original and accurately rendered spelling of his name was Ju Yang (Altogether Bright), utilizing a different Chinese character for 'Ju'. The reason for the misinterpretation of his name stemmed from a minor imbroglio.

Many years prior, a monarch resolved to refurbish his ancestral temples. To demonstrate his devout sincerity, he personally inscribed the characters upon a commemorative plaque for each temple hall. However, when he penned the inscription intended for the Ju Yang Palace Hall, he inadvertently misspelled the initial character.

At this juncture, the official tasked with overseeing the temple renovation projects was nearly consumed by worry. He found himself at a loss, unable to ascertain the monarch's true intent. Had His Majesty deliberately altered the name? Or was it a careless oversight? If the former, why was no formal decree issued to announce the change? But if it were unintentional, how could such a fundamental error have occurred? It was hardly feasible to approach and declare, "Your Majesty, you are mistaken." Who could predict whether His Majesty might perceive such a statement as an indictment of his inattentiveness? Perhaps His Majesty would even interpret it as a subtle suggestion of his limited knowledge and insufficient devotion! Furthermore, this inscription had been rendered using His Majesty's treasured inkstone. Would it now be rendered void?

A monarch’s intentions are notoriously difficult to fathom. That official found himself in quite a predicament. Nevertheless, after careful consideration, he judged it wiser to incur Ju Yang ZhenJun’s displeasure than to offend His Majesty.

The official’s choice proved to be the correct one. When His Majesty learned that Ju Yang (Altogether Bright) had been replaced by Ju Yang (Tremendous Masculinity), he offered no immediate comment. Instead, he convened a multitude of scholars and plunged into ancient texts. Diligently, they unearthed numerous subtle points to justify the substitution, penning countless essays to assert that Ju Yang (Tremendous Masculinity) had always been the correct orthography. Consequently, scarcely a night intervened before temples nationwide dedicated to Ju Yang (Altogether Bright) were transformed into those honoring Ju Yang (Tremendous Masculinity).

Feng Xin, the recipient of this abrupt, godly title change, remained unaware of these developments for a decade. He had never paid close attention to the inscriptions on his temples. Then, one day, an inexplicable gloom descended upon him. He pondered why so many women frequented his temples and why each visitor displayed such bashful, flushed faces. He wondered what prayers they whispered as they lit their incense.

Upon discovering the truth, Feng Xin ascended to the apex of the firmament. Facing the blazing sun and the immense heavens, he unleashed a torrent of curses.

Unsurprisingly, his outburst startled every Heavenly Official present.

After venting his fury, he found himself powerless. If they wished to worship him, then so be it. He could hardly deny solace to these devout, praying women. Thus, he stoically endured their supplications for many years. This continued until a certain august monarch deemed the title Ju Yang (Tremendous Masculinity) utterly scandalous and subsequently renamed it Nan Yang. However, the populace had not forgotten that Nan Yang, beyond being a martial god, was also a deity who bestowed blessings and protection. It was simply understood, by silent accord, never to refer to Nan Yang by those specific appellations. Concurrently, other deities recognized how to speak of Nan Yang ZhenJun: his epithet was simply ‘benevolent’!

As long as one avoided provoking his curses, all was tranquil!

Across the way, Nan Feng’s countenance had darkened to the hue of a scorched pot. Meanwhile, Fu Yao, with scholarly affectation, declared with great excitement, “A confidante to ladies, most efficacious in praying for a son. The secret catalyst for male virility, Nan Yang, the bestower of children. Ah ha ha, ah ha ha, ah ha ha ha ha ha……”

Xie Lian, with benevolent restraint, stifled his urge to chuckle, intending to preserve some dignity for Nan Yang’s deific statue before them. Abruptly, Nan Feng interjected, his voice laced with anger, “Cease this strange behavior. If you have excess energy, don’t dither, go sweep the floors.”

The instant these words were uttered, Fu Yao’s face also contorted to the shade of a blackened pot. If the Nan Yang Palace Hall could not tolerate hearing their former title, then the Xuan Zhen Palace Hall found the mention of sweeping floors unbearable. This was because, during Mu Qing’s tenure performing menial tasks at the Huang Ji Temple, his daily duties consisted of serving His Highness the Crown Prince Xie Lian tea, fetching him water, sweeping the floors, or making his bed. One fateful day, Xie Lian observed Mu Qing reciting cultivation chants while engaged in sweeping and was profoundly moved by Mu Qing’s arduous efforts and resilience in his studies. It was this scene that prompted Xie Lian to implore the Taoist Ministers for a favor: to accept Mu Qing as their disciple.

This particular incident… how does one articulate it? It could be deemed significant, or perhaps utterly trivial. It might bring shame to the individual involved, or it might be a matter of indifference. However, from the individual’s perspective, it was evidently considered the most humiliating experience of his entire life. This was because both Mu Qing and every martial god within his Palace Hall would invariably quarrel with someone if this particular time was brought up. Indeed, Fu Yao paused momentarily before fixing his gaze upon the entirely guileless Xie Lian, who stood nearby, waving his hands. Fu Yao offered a sarcastic smile and remarked, “Saying something like that, those unfamiliar with the situation might believe your gods at the Nan Yang Palace Hall had assisted His Highness the Crown Prince.”

Nan Feng responded with a sarcastic smile of his own. “Your esteemed General is truly one to betray his benefactor; what more can be said?”

“Uh...” Xie Lian, intending to mediate their quarrel, was interrupted as Fu Yao began to speak with a chuckle, “Ah ha ha, your General is only a pot calling the kettle black. What right do you have to say such things?”

“...” Xie Lian found it unbearable watching the two use him as a shield to bash their respective Generals. He cut in, “Wait, wait! Stop it, stop it.”

Naturally, no one heeded his words. Furthermore, they actually began to fight. Xie Lian couldn't tell who struck first, but in any case, the sacrificial offering table cracked in half. The fruit bowl toppled, and the fruits scattered across the floor. Seeing this, Xie Lian realized it was probably impossible to halt their fight. Thus, he sat down in a corner, sighing, “Ah, how unlucky.” He picked up a small steamed bun that had rolled near him, rubbed off the dirt, and prepared to eat it.

However, Nan Feng, catching this out of the corner of his eye, immediately swept out his palm and knocked the bun away. “Don’t eat that!”

Fu Yao also paused, then spoke with a tone of shock and disdain, “It fell in the ashes. You can still eat that?”

Xie Lian seized the opportunity to wave his hands again, saying, “Stop, stop, stop. I have something to say.”

After separating the two martial gods, Xie Lian began amicably, “Firstly, the Crown Prince you're referring to is me. I hadn’t even spoken yet, so don’t use me as a weapon to attack each other.” He paused briefly before adding, “I believe both of your Generals would never do such a thing. If you act with such impropriety, how can their prestige endure?”

The moment he spoke, the expressions of the two martial gods shifted subtly. Xie Lian continued, “Secondly, you are here to assist me, correct? Then, are you two supposed to listen to me, or am I supposed to listen to you?”

After a considerable pause, the two finally responded, “We’re supposed to listen to you.”

While they uttered those words, their faces seemed to convey, ‘Dream on’. However, Xie Lian was already quite pleased with their answer. He then clapped his hands and declared, “Alright. Lastly, the third and most crucial point—if anything must be abandoned, please, just discard me. Never, ever discard food.”

Meanwhile, Nan Feng had finally retrieved the steamed bun Xie Lian intended to eat later, which Xie Lian had picked up and was holding. Reaching the end of his patience, Nan Feng yelled, “If it fell on the ground, don’t eat it anymore!”

The tea sommelier was once again seated by the door, legs crossed, in a relaxed posture. From a distance, he observed three figures slowly approaching. A Taoist, clad in simple white robes and carrying a bamboo hat, led the way, followed by two tall teenagers dressed in black.

The Taoist strolled over casually, hands clasped. He idly spoke, appearing even more indolent than the tea sommelier himself. “Mister, apologies for the disturbance, but might we trouble you for three cups of tea?”

The tea sommelier replied with a smile, “Coming right up!”

However, within his heart, the tea sommelier mused: these three unfortunate souls are back again! What a shame. Each one looks more respectable than the last, yet each of their minds is even more disturbed! Constantly babbling about gods and immortals, ghosts and heavens. These individuals are all clearly unwell. No matter how dignified their appearance, what good is it when they are like this?

Once again, Xie Lian selected a table near the window. After they were all seated, Nan Feng inquired, “Why did you wish to speak about this here? Can you guarantee no one else will overhear?”

Xie Lian responded in a gentle tone, “It makes no difference. Even if others hear us, they won’t act. They will merely assume we are unwell.”

“...”

Xie Lian continued, “To prevent the three of us from wasting our time as before, let us get straight to the point. After calming down, have you two considered any plans?”

Fu Yao’s eyes gleamed as he replied in a cold tone, “Let’s exterminate it!”

Nan Feng snorted. “Obviously!”

Xie Lian remarked, “Nan Feng, there’s no need to be so aggressive. Fu Yao isn’t wrong. The ultimate solution to this problem is indeed to eliminate it. The issue lies in where to eliminate it, who should do the eliminating, and how to accomplish the elimination. I propose…”

At that moment, the sound of drums and trumpets once more echoed from the street. Consequently, the three of them glanced out the window.

Once more, it was the same contingent of relatives who conducted the bride's procession. The line of people and steeds resonated with the beat of their drums and the clamor of their calls, their very shouts carrying a guttural quality, as if they feared their announcement wouldn't reach far enough. Observing this spectacle, Nan Feng's brow furrowed, and he inquired, "Were we not informed that the locals residing in the vicinity of Mount Yu Jun traditionally abstained from making boisterous noises or holding grand celebrations during marriages?"

Within this procession, the individuals were all robust and sturdy men with sun-darkened complexions. Their faces and bulging muscles were stretched taut, and beads of cold sweat dotted their foreheads. It was as though the object they transported was not a joyous bridal sedan, but rather a soul-devouring guillotine, poised to sever their heads and condemn them to death. Xie Lian found himself contemplating the identity of the person ensconced within that marriage sedan.

After a moment of contemplation, just as Xie Lian prepared to step forward for a closer view, a gust of chilling wind swept past. The cloth hanging at the side of the sedan lifted with the airflow, fluttering upward.

Behind the curtain, a figure lay awkwardly within the sedan, adopting a most peculiar posture. Their head was tilted unnaturally, and beneath the veil, a mouth painted a vivid scarlet was visible. The smile depicted was exaggerated to an extreme degree. A jolt rocked the sedan, causing the veil to slip, revealing a pair of wide eyes. These eyes were fixed directly upon them.

This undeniably resembled a woman who had suffered a broken neck and was now silently grinning in their direction.

Xie Lian could not discern if it was due to the excessive trembling of the sedan bearers' hands, but the sedan lacked stability. The woman's head swayed in time with the sedan's movements. It swayed and swayed... until! Her head detached and tumbled onto the street. Simultaneously, the headless torso pitched forward. With a resounding thud, the entire figure was ejected from the sedan door.