Endless Debt Chapter 1444 - 38: The Greatest Mistake

Sense of value.

Bologue always believed that humans are social animals, yearning to be needed by others to prove their own existence’s value.

When a person has no connections with the world, it’s naturally hard for them to find their own value of existence, leading to doubts about their meaning of existence, giving birth to numerous troubles, and mental tortures like depression.

This can be seen from the members of the Undying Club, these isolated Undeads hold no meaning or value to the world. To pass the long years, even the former Night Race Lord twisted into a famous pole dancer.

Whenever thinking of this, Bologue feels the world has gone mad.

"Hmm, I know of similar theories, evaluating whether a person is a participant in the world or merely an observer," Bologue followed Olivia’s words, "You’ve always been an observer, hiding in the night, watching the tides of time, living in this world yet feeling no real sense of being alive, like an inconsequential phantom."

"Do you always speak in grand theories?" Olivia emerged from the shadows.

"It’s merely a negotiation technique, trying to empathize with you, gain your trust, and then use you to achieve my goals." Bologue stated bluntly.

"That direct?"

"I just don’t like beating around the bush."

Olivia stepped up to Bologue, suddenly placing her hands on his shoulders, her chest fully exposed before him, without any cover. If Bologue wished, he could pierce Olivia’s heart and spine instantly.

"Let’s talk as we walk."

Olivia’s entire figure was shrouded in black gauze, even her face, always giving off a mysterious allure that Bologue couldn’t discern her looks.

Bologue asked, "Aren’t you afraid of being discovered?"

"Just need to hide."

Olivia moved forward, attempting to embrace Bologue. Instantly, Bologue’s wariness soared; he had been hugged in similar scenarios before, only for a rebellious girl then to stab him mercilessly.

Luckily, Olivia didn’t do so. Her body suddenly dissolved, turning into a faint smoke that dissipated. Bologue noticed the shadow at his feet writhed a little before settling down.

Olivia’s voice echoed in his mind through the whistle, "Let’s go, don’t stay away too long, or Ossana will suspect you."

Bologue retraced his steps back, neither hurried nor slow, "Is this your Secret Energy, allowing you to hide in the shadows?"

"Perhaps?" Olivia replied, "You can guess slowly, I won’t be telling."

"Don’t you trust me?"

"I just like maintaining a bit of mystery; don’t you think a mysterious woman is very attractive?"

"Not really, just find it bothersome."

The straightforward and candid words fell like a heavy blow, shattering Olivia’s pride. She couldn’t help but recall the first time she met Bologue, trying all ways to allure him.

Back then, Bologue was just like now, akin to an emotionally void patient, unresponsive to her various charms, making her feel utterly defeated.

"Do you really dislike me that much? From our first meeting, you were like this, I thought I was quite charming." Olivia said, a hint of frustration in her voice.

"On our first meeting, you were a potential enemy. Even if you weren’t, as a professional, I wouldn’t easily develop intimate feelings towards someone else; that would make my feelings seem cheap," Bologue spoke with a rational tone like a robot, "And now, I have a girlfriend."

Olivia was silenced by Bologue’s words. She lamented internally, from Bologue and Ossana’s previous conversation, she should have realized that attacking Bologue on this front was entirely self-defeating.

"Stop trying to control me, let’s continue discussing the refugees, what happened next?"

While questioning, Bologue lifted his head, gazing towards the Aurora Path in the sky, like a beacon guiding him back to the Umbrella Tower where the welcoming team was stationed, wondering if the dinner party had ended by now.

"I helped the refugee team fend off the bandits’ attacks, relocating them from the warzone to relatively safer remote regions. They admired me, regarding me as a Celestial God of salvation."

"Did you use Secret Energy in front of them?"

"Yes."

"And what about your Bloodthirsty Syndrome and light aversion?"

Bologue pressed further, as the main difference between the Night Race and ordinary humans is that the Night Race can’t act under sunlight and needs to feed on blood. To most people, these traits mark them as fearsome monsters.

Olivia’s voice turned somber, "High Tier Night Race all have special Alchemy Armaments to protect us during daylight, meaning we aren’t completely restricted by daylight. But the effects of Bloodthirsty Syndrome can’t be erased.

I would feed on the blood of the dead while they slept deeply. Initially, I hid it well, but as my relationships with the refugee team grew, becoming more familiar, I fell into the trap of happiness, forgetting what I truly was."

"Were you discovered by them?" Bologue asked.

"On a terrible night, a man who had feelings for me went to find me in my tent, but I wasn’t there. He followed my footprints into the woods... where I was gnawing on the throat of a bandit."

Bologue sensed that something sorrowful was about to unfold... No, it had already unfolded; it was merely being replayed.

"He once expressed such strong affection for me, and then such great fear. He screamed and ran back to the camp, informing everyone about it. He said I wasn’t a Celestial God sent to save them, but a Devil, and that I must be harboring some evil plot to slowly drain everyone’s blood."

"You could’ve killed him before he told the others."

"I... I couldn’t do it. I’ve already formed emotional ties with them."

"Then you could have hidden. With your Secret Energy, you could completely vanish, reappearing elsewhere and tell him what he saw was just an illusion," Bologue didn’t understand, "You clearly had many ways to keep it hidden."

"But I no longer want to hide," Olivia’s voice suddenly became firm, "I don’t want to be a damned coward like Serey. I want to face my fate."

Bologue was startled by Olivia’s aura, whispering, "You really don’t seem like Serey’s daughter."

"I am my mother’s daughter, not some worthless Serey’s." She cursed.

After cursing, Olivia’s voice weakened again, the painful past always difficult to recall.

"Before them, I sucked the blood and revealed my monstrous identity, also telling them that all this time, it was this monster protecting them.

Some raised torches, saying they wanted to burn me. Just moments before, they were praising me as a Celestial God. Others feared me and chose to leave, while those who remained became my supporters, saying that even if I were a monster, I was their protecting monster."

"What happened afterwards?"

"Something ordinary, something that has happened countless times in human history: one group of people killed another group, and in the end, those who supported me won."

"From then on, you lived with them."

"Yes, like nomads, we traveled the world, seeking lands untouched by the flames of war," Olivia’s voice lifted with a hint of laughter, "That might have been the happiest time of my life. I had new family members; we were happy together, sad together, living together."

"Even... even falling in love."

Bologue’s eyes slightly brightened, as though hearing something unbelievable yet feeling it should be so.

"I can understand, living with mortals melted the icy hatred in your heart, making you feel you could live like a normal person."

"Yes, that’s really what I thought at the time," Olivia said somberly, "Serey once warned me that for the Undead, emotions are the strongest curse... I didn’t understand then, but later I did."

Bologue guessed, "The one you loved, he was going to die, wasn’t he?"

"Mm."

Olivia nodded with difficulty, reluctantly admitting this fact, "He fell ill and could no longer stand; he lay in bed sickly, holding my hand. He said he was sorry; human lives are already short and couldn’t stay with me for long, but now he was sick, dying so soon.

He spent nights saying sorry to me."

Olivia remained silent for a long time until Bologue left the Wasteland District, stepping once more under the many High Towers, until everything was about to fall into deadly silence, her voice emerged again.

"Bologue, my heart broke then."

"So, to retain him, you granted him blood, transforming him into an Undead like you. You thought you would stay together forever, hiding in a place known to no one, living happily, but you hadn’t thought that people’s minds could change, and long time could alter many things.

No matter how deeply you once loved each other, ultimately, you wished to turn swords against each other and grind each other’s bones to dust."

Olivia’s voice turned icy, devoid of any emotion.

"He concealed from me, granted blood to others, saying they were friends accompanying us forward, that we shouldn’t monopolize this Undying Club. Then the number of people he granted blood to kept increasing; he and I argued until suddenly, he erupted with a power stronger than mine, angrily reprimanding me, saying I was wasting this divinely chosen Blessing.

We should use this power for greater things, not some ridiculous love affair."

Olivia seemed to use all her strength as she painfully revealed, "Then I understood Serey’s words, and when I wanted to rectify my mistakes, I realized it was too late.

Familiar faces, continuously weeping at me, questioning why, as friends who lived and died together, I wanted to kill them. When my dagger pierced their hearts, dragging them into the sunlight, they cursed me, saying I was a selfish scoundrel wanting to monopolize eternal life."

By now, Olivia finds it hard to recall how she conducted the hunt; she killed one after another of those she once loved deeply, and those beloved ones, in death, issued the cruellest curses upon her.

Olivia was confused for a long time; she didn’t know if what she was doing was right or wrong, nor understood why everything had become like this.

"I killed everyone except him. When I finally found him, hoping to solve this last mistake, I suddenly discovered I couldn’t kill him; he had leaped to become a Seeker of Glory, possessing a stronger lineage than mine."

Olivia spoke of her greatest mistake in life, "He, the Regent King found the Land of Eternal Night, met the Night King, and received his blood."