Demonic Po*nstar System Chapter 931: Beseeching the Master

Calypso had been drifting in and out of the tent all morning, raiding the snack table between training sets, but sometime before noon she stopped pretending she was leaving and claimed the chair on Kaiden’s left with two fresh bags and zero intention of giving it back. Which meant she was seated, present, and impossible to miss when Dominic Brant, B-tier vanguard, sat down for his interview and immediately lost custody of his own eyes.

It started at hello.

"Strong exam showing," Kaiden said, opening the file. "You held the second line longer than most of your batch."

"That’s what I do." Brant’s answer was aimed at Calypso’s chest. "I hold."

Luna’s pen stopped.

"Preferred gate tier?" Kaiden asked.

"B and up." Delivered to the chest. "I like a challenge."

The demoness in question was, in fairness, a lot of woman. Red skin over a warrior’s build, wrapped in a black tank top that had signed up for a smaller mission than the one it received. Calypso herself minded the attention not at all; being admired came with being magnificent. She popped another chip and waited, friendly, for his eyes to come back up.

They didn’t.

Question four went to her collarbone. Question five went lower. By question six, Kaiden had stopped existing for candidate Brant in any meaningful sense, and Luna’s boot had started a slow tap under the table, a rhythm anyone who knew her would have recognized as a countdown.

It was Calypso who moved first.

She leaned across the table and, with one red finger, gently closed the file in front of Kaiden.

"Darling, I’m sorry for interrupting," she told Kaiden, then turned to Brant, friendly and genuinely a little sad, the way one breaks bad news to a hopeful puppy. "But that’s the interview. It’s a no."

Brant blinked, surfacing. "What? Why? My scores-"

"Your scores are good. I just really don’t like you."

"Hah?"

"I know I’m an exotic beauty. A glance here and there is understandable." She smiled, honest. "But you haven’t even looked at Kaiden, the man you’re supposed to respect as your boss. You’re here to get hired by him, not to ogle his woman, correct?"

For one second, Dominic Brant held the option of leaving with his dignity. He looked at the demoness who had just delivered the most professional assessment of his afternoon, and he chose otherwise.

"You’re joking." A laugh came out of him, high and wrong. "I’m getting lectured on discipline by a dumb monster in a tank top? You’re a weapon, sweetheart-"

The temperature of the tent changed.

Luna set her pen down with a click. "Say one more word and I’ll teach reality to you, you B-tier sorry-ass bitch."

"Y-"

Luna raised an eyebrow.

The man closed his mouth, sent her, Calypso, and Kaiden a look of anger, then scurried out.

"Ah, is this how being a defenseless maiden that gets protected by her knight in shining armor feels like?" Calypso swooned, sending Luna a heart mark with her fingers.

An instantaneous middle finger welcomed her words.

"Kukuku... NEXT~!" she sang.

The next file said Eugene Wexler, B-tier barrier specialist, a reedy man with glasses and a cowlick who had scored top marks in the exam’s endurance segment by planting a barrier and refusing to die behind it, and he answered every technical question with nervous, precise competence.

Then Kira, working down Doug’s standard list, asked why he wanted to join Eclipse specifically.

Eugene inhaled. Held it. And detonated.

"BECAUSE I’M A HOPELESS VIRGIN!"

The tent acquired the acoustics of deep space.

"Uhh... Sorry to hear that? Care to elaborate?" said Rika, pen frozen mid-stroke.

Eugene came around the folding chair and dropped to both knees, facing Kaiden, glasses flashing with conviction.

"I’m thirty-three and I have never charmed a single woman in my life! Boss Kaiden! I watched you tell the entire planet you were on humanity’s side while five of the most beautiful women alive stood behind you, choosing to be there! That’s not tier! That’s not wealth! That’s masculine charm made manifest! Make me your student! Teach me the art of being a REAL MAN and I’ll carry equipment, I’ll scrub the dog, I’ll-"

"Okay, whoa. Pause." Luna dug in her pocket, reached across the table, and held out a hundred toward the kneeling man. "Here’s a hundred bucks, solve your problem and come back when you’re coherent."

Eugene looked at the bill. Took it with shaking hands.

And tore it in half.

"PROSTITUTES DON’T COUNT!" he roared. "I don’t want it handed to me! I want to walk up to a bewitching baddie, as myself, and CHARM her, the way Boss Kaiden would! That’s the whole POINT!"

"You’re not that Thirsty guy in the chat, right?" Luna raised an eyebrow.

"Thirsty? Yes, I’m thirsty for female attention!"

"What’s your awakened media username?" Kaiden sighed, asking for clarification. He was also interested.

Eugene looked him in the eyes, puffed his chest out, and decreed with utmost conviction, "BoobsRuleTheWorld69696969!"

"...Not him." Kira and Rika were dying, trying their utmost not to break out into howling laughter.

Calypso tipped toward Kaiden and stage-whispered, "Should we send him to the place for crazies?"

Kaiden looked at the kneeling disaster in front of him and just felt sorry for the guy.

He reached over, took Eugene’s contract off Kira’s stack, and signed it.

"Accepted."

Eugene’s glasses fogged on the spot. "And... and the apprenticeship, boss?!"

"I have nothing to teach you."

"Boss..." He looked ready to weep.

"Haah..." Kaiden sighed. "Alright, I don’t think I’m fit for this role but I’ll give you one piece of advice. Don’t bother me again with this, got it?"

"Boss!!" His eyes lit up.

"You’re a socially awkward guy who comes off as a weirdo because you have no barrier. Women will get the ick because you’re too earnest."

"What! Being earnest about my admiration of a woman’s beauty is bad?"

"Depends on how you go about it. Pretend Rika is the hottest woman you’ve ever seen and try to speak to her."

"Pretend???" Rika’s eyes narrowed into dangerous slits.

"Why are you throwing my sis under the bus?" Kira giggled, knowing full well the choice of practice target was never going to be Luna or Calypso, for he was far too jealous of a man. Kira just won a coinflip.

"Yes, boss!" Eugene shouted and stood.

He straightened his collar, squared his shoulders, and adopted what he clearly believed was a smoldering expression. He looked like he’d watched every clip of Kaiden Grey charming women and absorbed none of the ease that made it work.

He approached Rika’s end of the table with a stride that aimed for confident and arrived at constipated, stopped in front of her, and swept his cowlick back with two fingers.

"Hey."

The ’hey’ landed with approximately the sexual energy of a tax form.

"I, uh." He cleared his throat and tried again, deeper. "I couldn’t help but notice you across the... table. You have very... structurally... beautiful..." His eyes flicked to Kaiden for help. Kaiden offered none. "...bones?"

"My bones are beautiful?" Rika repeated.

"Your bone structure! Facial bone structure! It’s very, uh, symmetrical, and I read that symmetry is what makes people attractive, so, scientifically speaking, you’re..." He was sweating through his shirt. "...statistically significant?"