A Regressor’s Tale of Cultivation Chapter 479: Sacred Sea (4)

I look up at the ceiling for a moment, rubbing my face with my hand.

'...No matter how I explain it, she won't believe me anymore.'

She has reached a conclusion all on her own.

Even if I were to cruelly torture her, saying, 'Say that I am Seo Eun-hyun, not a True Immortal!'

Or if I were to gently persuade her, saying, 'I am not True Immortal.'

On the surface, she might seem convinced, but deep down, she would still believe I am a True Immortal and treat me as such.

'What should I do?'

I am not some True Immortal; I am simply Seo Eun-hyun.

How exactly am I supposed to prove myself?

"...I am."

Raising Yeon Wei, who looks as if she's about to lick my feet, I say,

"Seo Eun-hyun. I am not a True Immortal."

"..."

Yeon Wei listens to my words with utmost respect.

"No matter how you think of me...well, to be honest, if you don't know me, you wouldn't understand. I admit it. I may look like a True Immortal at times. But regardless of what you think, I am not a True Immortal."

"Howe..."

"But."

I cut off her words and speak firmly.

"If you believe me to be a True Immortal...then think of me that way. After all, I, too, aim to become a True Immortal someday, and if that day ever comes, I won't forget the Golden Divine Heavenly Thunder Sect."

At my words, her eyes light up.

"Thank...thank you! Thank you so much!"

She bows down and continues to kiss my feet.

Unable to forcibly stop her, I can only clear my throat and step back.

"Please stop. And...I would appreciate it if you treated me as you used to..."

"As you command!"

Thud!

She answers, bowing her head with enough force to make a thud, and then steps back.

Watching Yeon Wei's display, I sit in a lotus position in Jeon Myeong-hoon's quarters for a moment.

Crack, crackle...

Gradually, I feel it.

My consciousness is once again reversing back to the Lightning Sacred Sea, and this brief moment of Divine Descent is about to end.

I speak into the void.

"Are you watching, Jeon Myeong-hoon?"

And immediately, a reply comes.

—Yeah.

"When did you wake up?"

—From the very beginning. It's just that until now, I couldn't react inside you because the presence of your soul was so overwhelming... Should I say I was flattened? Something like that. When you raised your consciousness to the Immortal Domain using my body to block the Sacred Master's attack, the intensity of the stimulus was so strong that I had no choice but to awaken forcefully. But thanks to you, I got to experience the Immortal Realm early... it wasn't bad.

"...What do you think about Yeon Wei's behavior?"

—What do you mean, what do I think? Just accept it. Our ancestor, after all, despite how often she misses the mark, does put in the effort in her own way.

"The problem is that she misses the mark far too often."

—That is true.

I check on the awakened Jeon Myeong-hoon within me to see if he's alright, and he surprisingly doesn't seem to have any major issues.

It seems that anyone who has mastered the Red Lightning Heavenly Tribulation Method can maintain their consciousness and resist even during a Divine Descent.

In this case, however, my consciousness is so overwhelming that Jeon Myeong-hoon's consciousness was flattened without a chance to resist.

—So then, what's the problem? Yeon Wei swore to follow you faithfully, didn't she?

"I just...want her to treat me as me."

Jeon Myeong-hoon bursts into laughter inside me at that.

—Hahaha! How funny. What does it even mean to treat you as 'you'?

"Well, that is..."

—Are you asking to be treated as 'human Seo Eun-hyun'? Give it up. That's impossible. Being treated like a human...honestly, even reaching the Qi Building stage is enough to begin shedding that part. The moment one enters the path of Immortal Cultivation and surpasses the Qi Building stage, we are no longer humans but rather 'cultivators who resemble humans'.

"...Still, as a fellow sect member..."

—I get what you're trying to say, but that's impossible too. This isn't just an issue of being a cultivator or the realm...it's because the 'subject is you'.

"Just what about me?"

—Do you want me to be blunt?

Pajijik!

As my presence starts being drawn back into the Lightning Sacred Sea, Jeon Myeong-hoon seems to regain some energy.

He creates a clone with lightning in front of his body and speaks through it.

[You, you know...have been acting strange lately.]

"...That's because of the Star Shattering stage. In Star Shattering, the heart gradually transforms into attraction force..."

I explain to him about the realm of Star Shattering, and after listening, Jeon Myeong-hoon nods immediately.

[It's clear now. What I'm about to say has nothing to do with that kind of attraction force in the Star Shattering stage. Just Seo Eun-hyun, it's about your fundamental state.]

"My fundamental state?"

[That's right. I'm talking about you... Honestly, as time goes by, you're paying more attention to your shoulders.]

"..."

[It's not because your shoulders are an erogenous zone or because you've learned some technique that makes them more sensitive, right?]

"...Of course not."

[The reason your shoulders have been getting more sensitive and why you keep focusing on them...in my perspective, it's because you're carrying too much weight on them.]

"What?"

[...When I look at you, you know...]

He reaches toward my chest, pulling out the hand of So-hae from within and gently strokes it.

[Sometimes, it seems like you're excessively abusing yourself. It feels like, because of the burdens you carry on your back, you're being crushed by the weight and dying a little each day.]

"..."

[Fortunately...in the world of Penglai Island, that world resembling the Head Realm, after you spoke with the reincarnation of Buk Hyang-hwa, you seem to have stopped some of that self-punishment.]

"That's true."

I heard from Baek Ran about 'how to forgive myself.'

Simultaneously, I extinguished the flames of abuse that had been tormenting me, capturing the starting point of my Immortal Art and completing Crystal Glass to Treading Sea.

"Back then...I forgave myself a lot."

[Yes. Since then, your complexion has improved significantly. But...]

He strokes Sohae's hand and looks at me.

[Even if you've forgiven yourself, it seems you're still driving yourself too hard.]

"...What?"

[It's exactly as I said. There's too much weighing on your shoulders. I'm saying you try to take responsibility for everything all by yourself.]

He speaks with a serious expression.

[Of course, I understand. Honestly, the Enders you mentioned? It's because among us Enders, you're the most capable. It's a good attitude to have. But because you put too much burden on your shoulders and push yourself too hard, at some point, it seems like you stopped caring about others' opinions and perspectives.]

"..."

[Ancestor Yeon Wei's attitude also reflects this. Haven't you been judging her solely from your own perspective? It's not necessarily a bad thing. After all, the majority of our fates rest on your shoulders. But...sometimes, listen to the views and perspectives of those weaker than you. I don't mean to pay attention or be considerate of the weak.]

He places Jin So-hae's hand down momentarily, then rises from his seat and puts his hand on my shoulder.

I don't brush it off.

[It's not about paying attention to the weak...just trust us a little more. I will always believe in you and follow you. But...also remember that we, too, have our own perspectives, views, and the heart to be of help to you. That person has also found a solution that she believes will benefit us most, based on her own judgment.]

"...I'll think about it."

Pajijijk!

It seems the duration of Divine Descent has reached its end.

My consciousness scatters directly from inside Jeon Myeong-hoon's body.

Pasasasasa!

The sound of murmuring echoes from all directions.

'This is...'

I immediately recognize what they are.

They are voices.

The voices of those who have 'learned the Lightning Path Method.'

Pajik, Pajijijik...

I savor the sensation of lightning swirling inside my mind, identifying their identities.

'I see. These are...all those who were taught by Yang Su-jin!'

Those who learned the wisdom of lightning from Yang Su-jin and inherited his teachings. 

However, the majority are Qi Building stage and below.

'I see. That time...'

The day the Owner of Heavenly Punishment sought out Zhengli and erased the Golden Divine Heavenly Thunder Sect.

The Owner of Heavenly Punishment not only wiped out the Golden Divine Heavenly Thunder Sect but almost all those who had received Yang Su-jin's teachings.

The ones who survived were the extreme cases.

Jeon Myeong-hoon, with the highest talent among them.

Or unaffected by the Owner of Heavenly Punishment's power due to their powerful strength, the fewentitiesinthevastandevenmoreimmenseUpperWorld.

'Kugh...'

It seems a few of Yang Su-jin's disciples who are presumed to be True Immortals also survived.

I erase their presence from my mind and survey others.

Aside from the True Immortals, the majority are below the Qi Building stage.

They were likely deemed unworthy of being killed directly by the Owner of Heavenly Punishment.

In other words...

The vast majority of Yang Su-jin's disciples remaining in this world are either at the Qi Building stage or True Immortals.

'The Golden Divine Heavenly Thunder Sect in the Head Realm is unique.'

According to Yeon Wei's occasional reports, it seems that in the Head Realm's Golden Divine Heavenly Thunder Sect, a few Nascent Soul cultivators have emerged, completely seizing dominance over the continent.

With the Golden Divine Heavenly Thunder Sect controlling the Head Realm, it's likely that within a few years, they will gather the continent's resources and produce someone who will reach the Heavenly Being stage.

'I see. So in the Lightning Sacred Sea, if someone who is thought to continue the Golden Divine Heavenly Thunder Sect's, or in essence, Yang Su-jin's legacy, enters, they are given the chance to observe Yang Su-jin's connections in the Lightning Sacred Sea.'

I fully condense my consciousness and examine my surroundings.

My surroundings are dark.

I sense the attraction force around me shifting as some phenomenon approaches.

While waiting for it to draw near, I reflect on my conversation with Jeon Myeong-hoon.

Compared to when we first came to Ascension Path, he really has changed a lot.

'...Yes, I've definitely been thinking too much from my own perspective lately.'

Perhaps it's because I've experienced death too many times in such a short span.

At times, I even confuse my own death with that of my comrades, and once, thinking that since I can endure the titles of True Immortals, an Entering Nirvana True Person naturally would be able to do so as well, I recklessly dropped the titles and names of True Immortals like a bomb on Jinlu Gok, who had given me grace.

The distinction between self (我) and others (他) has grown blurred through so many deaths.

Because of that, I think I've become confused about the difference between 'the me I see' and 'the me others see.'

While I simply see myself as myself, I might actually appear as an unfathomable monster from the perspective of someone ordinary like Yeon Wei—something I had overlooked.

Tstststss—

I compress the Heavenly Rain Great Star and insert it into my incarnation body, taking on a human form.

Clench...

I hold my head and make a bitter expression.

‘That's...something I don't want.'

Yeon Wei's relationship with me isn't deep enough for her attitude to wound me greatly.

But...

If I look at it objectively, this incident is no different from what happened with Cheongmun Ryeong.

The incident of someone who was once my master in a past life beginning to address me as Senior or Daoist from the next life.

Starting from Buk Hyang-hwa and Cheongmun Ryeong, how many of my precious ones have called me senior or elder?

As time flows, I naturally grow stronger, but others can only live in time that is separate from my own.

I bury my face in my hands.

Regression is indeed a powerful authority.

But...

At the same time, it's also an incredibly dreadful curse.

Because as long as I have this ability, I must live forever in fear of becoming 'someone too high' in the eyes of those dear to me...

'My strongest hope is simply life.'

It's something I've thought about continuously since the early cycles in the Head Realm.

What I desire most is life.

A 'single, proper life' where I fear death and, even if I die, time does not rewind, and my connections don't disappear.

If my life were to be built on desire, then someday, I might find myself muttering something unfunny like, 'Life is essentially life.'

As much as that...

For me, whose meaning of life diminishes with each reversal of time, life has become something that I desperately crave for.

Desperately craving for life, I have to pour all my strength into giving meaning to each life.

For that reason, I want at least my comrades to see me as I am.

Because even if time reverses, at least they stay by my side.

But countless connections, starting with Cheongmun Ryeong and Buk Hyang-hwa, and now even Yeon Wei...those who once stood beside me are beginning to look at me with fear.

In this situation, what am I supposed to do?

—It's not about paying attention to the weak...just trust us a little more. I will always believe in you and follow you. But...also remember that we, too, have our own perspectives, views, and the heart to be of help to you. That person has also found a solution that she believes will benefit us most, based on her own judgment.

"...Are you asking me to trust you, Jeon Myeong-hoon?"

I recall Jeon Myeong-hoon's words.

And as I think of those who stay beside me even within my backward flow of my time, I pull myself from my gloomy heart essence.

"Yes. I suppose there's no other choice."

I dislike it when the reactions of those beside me change.

I just want them to treat me as I am.

But that's impossible unless I go as far as brainwashing them.

'As I grow stronger, naturally, their thoughts and perspectives towards me have no choice but to change...'

I have always told Jeon Myeong-hoon to trust and follow me.

When I think about it, rather than just dragging them along by saying, 'this time, too,' and ending it there, perhaps I should have trusted them better.

Even if I find it unsatisfactory, their views and thoughts about me,

I decide to 'trust' their attitude towards me.

Because...

They, too, are trusting me in their own way.

Kurung, kururung!

Thunder roars, and before my eyes, a massive creature resembling a hummingbird appears.

A hummingbird the size of the moon, its entire body composed of lightning.

"...!"

The moment I see it, I feel as if my main body is about to burst apart, and I sense lightning striking throughout the atmosphere of my main body.

[Wh-Who is the distinguished one?]

Wiiiiiiiiiiing!

The hummingbird flaps its wings at a speed surpassing lightning, watching me for a moment.

Then it shrinks to the size of my palm, and, standing in front of me, it begins cutting through the darkness.

It seems to be telling me to follow.

I follow the hummingbird, tearing through the space of darkness.

After a while.

I emerge from the darkness, arriving at a place resembling a Peach Blossom Spring.

A world where all kinds of rare and beautiful flowers are in full bloom, where wine springs forth like water everywhere, and flowers and trees emit beautiful sounds of music.

The hummingbird leads me to a pavilion at the center of this world.

In front of the pavilion, there is a small pond, and in that pond stands a  hundred-storey stone pagoda densely covered with carvings like sesame seeds.

The pagoda has many layers, but its overall size is only about the height of an adult man.

'What is that pagoda?'

Feeling a strange flow emanating from the pagoda, I follow the hummingbird into the pavilion.

Just then,

"...!"

The hummingbird that had guided me here now transforms into a small human girl with platinum blonde hair.

She is dressed in a robe made of golden lightning, standing with her pristinely white and clean bare feet, offering her greetings from above the within the pavilion.

Suruk—

She opens her mouth in front of me.

However, without uttering a sound, she only moves her lips.

Since I know how to read lips, I can understand her meaning even without hearing her voice.

—Welcome to the inner depths of the Lightning Sacred Sea, the management space, Young Master.

"...And who is the distinguished one?"

—I am the attendant concubine and pet of the Golden Divine, Immortal Beast Golden Shaking Bird (金振鳥). As for my true name and title...as Young Master cannot withstand my rank and hearing it could drive Young Master mad, I will not reveal it at this time.

I look at Golden Shaking Bird, feeling tense.

"Why have you brought me here?"

—It is because Young Master has rightfully inherited the legacy of the Golden Divine. The Golden Divine instructed that if someone who has completed the Extinguishing Divine Tribulating Heavens Technique appears, this management space of the Lightning Sacred Sea should be gifted to them.

Hearing this, I speak with a joyful expression.

"Oh...In that case, since I'm here, I'd like to take with me the [Symbols of the Five Middle Realms] that are said to be in the Lightning Sacred Sea..."

However, Golden Shaking Bird chuckles at my words and covers her mouth.

—I apologize for my rudeness, however...you cannot take them from here.

"What? Why not?"

—Because...the Lightning Sacred Sea is merely the [passage] leading to the space where the [Symbols of the Five Middle Realms] are located. It is not the place where they actually reside. The Golden Divine's treasure vault is located separately. The very purpose of the Lightning Sacred S